


Flying Dreams

by lanibb2013



Category: Dr. Who, field of blood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clara Movie star, Cutting, F/M, Light BDSM, Past F/F Relationship, Past M/M relationship, Peter Newspaper Reporter, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, mention of homophobia and bigotry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:11:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3821602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanibb2013/pseuds/lanibb2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern Day Field of Blood/Doctor Who AU<br/>Pete Mclltchie/Clara Oswald<br/>Pete doesn't die in this universe</p><p>	Clara Oswald is a famous young actress who visits Glasgow and gives an interview to Daily News with one Peter Mclltchie. She chose him to give her interview to because he was the only one who treated her with respect in that newspaper office. She also finds him funny and pleasant to be around. She doesn't care that he is twice her age or has grey hair. She didn't even really care that he was an alcoholic and smoked because he was a decent man. Over the next few years she flies back and forth to Glasgow when she was free to see him. Pete on the other hand is totally smitten with this beautiful young woman that has taken a shine to him. He knows he'll never be more that a friend or fling to her but he wished he could be her husband. He knew he was to far below her on the social scale because he was poor so he just enjoyed the time he was allowed to have with her. That is of course all a matter of opinion. Clara has a different opinion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this song:
> 
> Flying Dreams  
> By: Kenny Loggins
> 
> Dream by night  
> Wish by day  
> Love begins this way.  
> Loving starts  
> When open hearts  
> Touch, and stay.  
> Sleep for now  
> Dreaming's how  
> Lover's lives are planned.  
> Future songs  
> And flying dreams,  
> Hand, in hand.
> 
> Love it seems  
> Made flying dreams  
> So hearts, could soar.  
> Heaven sent  
> These wings were meant  
> To prove, once more.  
> That love is the key....  
> Love is the key.  
> You and I  
> Touch the sky  
> The eagle and the dove.  
> Nightingales  
> We keep our sails  
> Filled with love.  
> And love it seems  
> Made flying dreams,  
> To bring you home to me....
> 
> [Instrumental section]
> 
> Love it seems  
> Made flying dreams  
> So hearts, could soar.  
> Heaven sent  
> These wings were meant  
> To prove, once more.  
> That love is the key....  
> Love is the key.
> 
> You and I  
> Touch the sky  
> The eagle and the dove.  
> Nightingales  
> We keep our sails  
> Filled with love.  
> Ever strong  
> Our future song,  
> To sing it must be free.
> 
> Ev'ry part  
> Is from the heart,  
> And love is still the key.  
> And love it seems  
> Made flying dreams  
> To bring you home  
> To me..

It was a long and boring flight from Hollywood to Glasgow, Scotland for Clara Oswald. She wasn't even sure why her agent thought it was a good idea to go to this rainy little country to do an interview with some reporter for the Daily News. When she got to the newspaper office just about everyone was making snide comments and hitting on her. She was surprised when she heard a raspy, Scottish voice telling them to leave her alone. She looked over in the direction of the voice and saw a middle aged man with graying hair and a slender build. He wore thick rimmed glasses and a suit with a matching waistcoat and tie. She did notice he seemed a bit wasted but sober enough to be aware of what was going on around him.

Peter Mclltchie was having a long day and even though he was already half drunk he was still to sober to put up with the twats he worked with hitting on everything that looked remotely female. He also hated how the picked on Paddy Meehan as well because she was a nice girl but had spunk which made him smile every once and while. He heard them hitting on someone else and said, "Come off it. Leave the lassie alone. Go find yerself a prostitute if ye are that desperate for a shag. Ye are bloody disgusting." He muttered to himself in Gaelic before he noticed a skirt clad woman by his desk. He looked up and blinked. He knew he recognized her from somewhere but his half baked mind wouldn't let him remember. He asked, "Can I help ye, lassie?"  
Clara had walked over to the man's desk and patiently waited for him to notice her. When he finally did she said, "Yes. Thank you for getting the Caledonia bachelor party off of me. I'm Clara Oswald. I'm here to give an interview for your paper."

Peter replied, "Oh. Aye. Ye are an actress? Editor's in his office. Ye are welcome. They are a bunch of letches." He watched her go in Devlin's office and went back to work on his current article. He was surprised when he was called into Devlin's office.

Devlin looked up and said, "Murray Devlin. I take it you are Miss Oswald?"

Clara replied, "Yes Mr. Devlin. I'm here to be interviewed by your paper."

Devlin replied, "Yes. George McVie has already written up the questions for your interview."

Clara said, "I'm not trying to rude or anything, Mr. Devlin, but there is only one reporter I wish to do my interview. it is the skinny, gray haired man with the half baked look on his face and thick framed glasses. He was polite to me and got the others to back off. I will only feel comfortable if he does my interview."

Devlin yelled, "McVie! Dr. Pete! My office now!" He watched the two men file into his office and pointed to Pete. He said, "This I assume is the man you were referring to Miss Oswald. McVie, I'm sorry but you will have to give your article on Miss Oswald here to Dr. Pete."

McVie said, "What? Why?"

Devlin sighed, "Because she has agreed to only give the interview to him."

Clara replied, "I don't like your opinion of women, Mr. McVie. I also don't appreciate being called a tart and a whore just because I am an actress." She heard Pete covering a chuckle with a cough and smiled at him.

Peter never expected to be the only one she would let interview her but he didn't mind. She was very beautiful and had balls. After McVie shoved the interview questions at him he looked them over and had to change a few because they were just way to personal. He took her to the subeditors office and interviewed her. He went through about 4 cigarettes during the interview. When it was over he said, "Thank ye, Miss Oswald. I never expected ta be the one ta get yer interview but I'm glad I did. Ye are a very interesting and beautiful woman."

Clara said, "Please call me Clara. Do you mind if I just call you Peter? I'm not one really for formalities. What'd your surname?"

Peter replied, "Aye ye can call me Peter if ye like. Don't matter ta me. My surname is Mclltchie. I'm sure my editor will send yer agent a copy of the article."

Clara asked, "Is there anywhere fun to go around here?"

Peter laughed, "Not really. Only place ta go is the Press Bar." He got up and showed Clara out before going back to his desk to type up the interview with her. When he was done he gave it to Devlin before leaving for the day. He was parked at the pub when he looked up to see Clara standing in front of his table. 

Clara had liked Peter and figured he would be at that pub he mentioned. Sure enough she found him in the back of the establishment in a corner booth nursing a scotch. She stood in front of him and when he looked up she said, "Hey, handsome. Mind if I join you?"

Peter made a lip flapping noise a bit like a horse and replied, "Ye are either blind or crazy with that one, lassie." Then he remembered who he was talking too and figured he wouldn't see her again after that remark. He was surprised that she laughed so he motioned for her to sit down.

Clara laughed because she realized he was talking to her like he would anyone else. She sat down across from him and ordered a glass of wine and another scotch for him. She said, "Well I still think you are handsome anyway. So tell me a little about yourself, Peter."

Peter sighed, "Why are ye so interested in me? I'm just a boring middle aged hack." He lit a cigarette and took a drag o it.

Clara replied, "Because I like you for some reason and want to get to know you a bit better."

Peter shook his head and said, "I'm just a poor lonely middle aged alcoholic. I hate my job and wanted ta be a writer once but never had the time ta write."

Clara asked, "Are you married?"

Peter had to think for a minute and then he replied, "The wedding band? I....was married but she left me for a younger rich man a long time ago. I guess I just got so used ta wearing it I never bothered ta take it off." 

Clara put her hand on his and replied, "I'm sorry."

Peter sighed, "Thanks but it was for the best. All we did was fight. I couldn't be what she wanted me ta be and I couldn't stand her nagging. Funny thing is she was the one that drove me ta drinking because the only way I could stand her was if I was wasted."

Clara stayed there pretty late talking to Peter and listening to him tell her jokes and stories. She was enjoying the time she spent with him. She asked him if he would come back to her hotel with her.

Peter sighed, "No. Thank ye, Clara. I'm flattered but not interested in one night stands. If I sleep with a woman then she belongs ta me. I believe in loving the person ye go ta bed with and possibly marrying them. I'm not the kind of man ye'd want ta marry. I'm too messed up. Thank ye for a wonderful night." He got up and stumbled home knowing he'd probably regret not taking her up on her offer but he played for keeps and was incapable of staying unattached after sleeping with someone.

Clara had watched Peter stumble out the door and knew she wanted more from him. She was shocked and pleased that he had turned down the opportunity to sleep with her. She knew then he was a gentleman and took relationships seriously. She somehow knew that if she got involved with Peter that he wouldn't cheat on her. She decided that she wanted him as more than just a friend. Maybe she'd even like to marry him someday if they worked out. She went back to her hotel and extended her stay for a week since she didn't have to be anywhere else she decided to stay here and try to properly get to know this quiet man. Somehow she knew that she had to go slow with him or she'd scare him away.


	2. Getting to Know Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara drops in on Peter at the pub They have a personal chat.

The next night Clara went to the pub after she found out the newspaper office was closed for the day. Sure enough there was Pete sitting in his usual back booth nursing a scotch and smoking a cigarette. She got own glass of wine and another scotch for him before going and sitting down across from him. When he looked up at her she could tell he was drunker than he had been the night before. She smiled and said, "Hello again, handsome."

Peter was surprised when another whiskey was set down in front of him and even more surprised by who set it down. His eye sight was blurry but he knew her voice very well all ready. He slurred in disbelief, "Clara? What are ye doing here?" He had thought for sure that after he had turned her down as a fuck buddy last night he wouldn't see her again. That was part of the reason he was drunker than he normally was at this hour.

Clara grasped his hand that was resting on the table and replied, "I extended my stay so I could spend more time with you."

Peter asked, "Why? I'm boring and I told ye I only sleep with women I plan ta marry."

Clara laughed, "Yes. I didn't forget that. Actually I find that kind of chivalrous. You are the first man who hasn't chased after me to get me into bed with them. It's also endearing. You do have your faults but you are a decent man under all that alcohol and smoke. I'm willing to see where this leads, Peter."

Peter sighed, "Ye are forgetting I'm nothing but a poverty level alcoholic reporter. Ye are a rich beautiful movie star. Even if this went anywhere ye wouldn't want ta marry or be seen in public with someone like me, Clara. I do not share my wife with other men and I'm very possessive. I doubt it would work. I don't want ta be in the limelight and ye always are besides yer agent wouldn't approve of us anyway. I'm beneath ye and not afraid ta make an ass out of myself. I drink too much, smoke too much, am a cheeky bastard, possessive, unreliable, too quiet, nervous, old, terribly territorial, over protective, can be stand offish, and tend to say it like it is since I don't believe in sugar coating shite. I'm too old ta change and to tired ta care. I'd be a lousy mate let alone husband."

Clara replied, "All right. Some of my bad qualities are I'm bossy, demanding, possessive, easily angered, don't like to be told what to do by anyone, have a tendency to slap people that piss me off, stubborn, love to hug and kiss, and don't give a shit about personal space. You've listed your bad qualities now how about ye list the good ones?"

Peter shook his head and sighed, "I'm loyal, don't cheat, love with every fiber of my being, am submissive to my wife unless I feel my relationship is threatened, I don't require constant sex although not saying I wouldn't like it, can be affectionate with the right person, I eat very little and am not picky about what I do eat, I'm easy ta find in the nearest pub, and I'm fairly easygoing." 

Clara smiled and replied, "Well I don't cheat either, love sex as much as possible, I am a more dominate personality, and don't judge or chose someone based on the level in society. As long as the person is well groomed and isn't a lowlife scumbag I don't care if they are poor or rich. "

Peter replied, "Your public would look at me as a man looking for a sugar mama. They'd think I was in it for the money which I could care less about." He didn't want her to wind up being looked at as a sucker because they think he wants her money. 

Clara chuckled, "I know you don't want my money. You wouldn't be trying to push me away if you did. Don't get me wrong you will get the benefits of my money but I know that's not what you are interested in. Now what do you do for fun?"

Peter laughed bitterly, "Get drunk, read, watch TV, used to write but don't feel like it anymore because I write enough at work. I'm mostly a homebody."

Clara replied, "Well reading and watching TV I don't mind. I'd like to read some of your writing sometime. I like to go clubbing and dancing sometimes or just out to dinner and a movie with my boyfriend. Can you dance?"

Peter replied, "Aye. I haven't done it in a very long time though. Usually too drunk ta walk let alone dance." 

Clara replied, "Well I'd like to go dancing with you sometime then." The longer she sat talking with Peter the more she liked him. Eventually the pub was closing so they walked out arm in arm with him stumbling because he was drunk. She kissed his cheek before she got in the taxi to go back to her hotel and said, "I'll see you tomorrow, Peter. Goodnight."

Peter touched his cheek where she had kissed him and replied, "Aye, Goodnight, Clara." He stumbled back to his little hole in the wall apartment and flopped on his bed and fell asleep.


	3. Old Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter talks to Clara about his ex-boyfriend from when he was young

The rest of that week flew by in a blur for Peter and he knew e was falling in love with Clara. He knew tomorrow morning she would be going back to her world and he'd still be stuck in his own alone again. He was very surprised when she handed him a cell phone with her phone number programmed in it. He asked, "Why?"

Clara smiled and replied, "I got it for you because I want to keep in contact with you. I know it will be a long distance relationship but I really like you, Peter. The easiest way to keep in contact with you was for me to get you a phone on my plan. Shut up. You are going to take this iphone and use it when you want to call me. Don't forget to charge it or I will come back here and slap you. Got it? I will be calling you as well when I'm not busy. Eventually I'm hoping we'll be able to visit each other. I'd like you to come with me but I'm not going to push."

Peter shrugged, "Ye are welcome here if ye like but I doubt I'd be welcome in yer world." He put the phone and charger in his suit jacket pocket. He was finding he was better off not arguing with Clara. He actually liked her bossing him around and knew she would be the only one that could put him on a lease and he'd enjoy it. He looked over at the others in te bar that walked in.

McVie sniggered, "Hey beautiful. Why you messing with old Pete? He couldn't get it up if he tried, lassie. I could show you a really good time. Hot tart like you must have a lot of experience in bed, yeah?"

Clara saw Pete was about to say something and said, "Shut up, Peter. Mr. McVie. You are hardly good looking enough for this TART to bother sleeping with even if you were the best lover in the universe. Pete is definitely the best looking man in this pub. As for him not being able to get it up. The only way you'd know that is if you have shared his bed because that is none of your business unless you have. So have you had sex with him?" She was enjoying how the man spluttered and went to find a seat without answering. 

Peter said, "That was an....interesting comeback. I think he'll be flustered the rest of the night now. He's also a bigot and homophobe."

Clara replied, "Well he deserved it for what he said. That explains why I shut him up then. You're not like that right?"

Peter lit a cigarette and took a gulp of whiskey before answering, "No. I'm not. I'm actually bisexual but prefer women usually. Yer actually the only person I said that too. When I was a lad in my 20's I fell in love with a boy a couple years younger than me. He was killed in a hate crime. He was beaten to death by a gang of homophobic bastards. I've hidden that part of me ever since but I wrote an article in the paper in remembrance of him."

Clara clasped his hand and said, "I'm sorry. What was his name?"

Peter took his glassed off and threw them on the table before wiping the tears off his cheeks. He rasped, "Dunkin McDonald. I would have stayed with him for the rest of my life if that hadn't happened. I wasn't even allowed ta go ta his funeral. My father said if I went he wouldn't give the boy a proper burial. So I stayed away and I visit his grave every year on our anniversary. My father...didn't approve of him because it's a sin to be gay. That was when I lost faith in religion. I fought with my father over that until the day he died. Ye see my father, his father, his grandfather, and so on were all ministers. I was forced in ta getting a doctorate in divinity by my father pushing me ta be a minister. I got the degree but refused ta be a minister."

Clara asked, "Is that why they call you Dr. Pete?" When he nodded she felt sorry for him. He had grown up in a time and a family where it was unaccepted to be gay. She had grown up in an era that it wasn't so taboo and had a girlfriend for 10 years before they broke it off because Nina couldn't handle the pressure of being the wife of a movie star. She knew it had to be hard for him to admit that he had loved another man if he had never said it to anyone before and that did make her feel kind of special. She leaned on the table and held his hand tightly. She said, "You have nothing to worry about, Peter. I myself am divorced from another woman. She couldn't handle me becoming a star so she left me. I don't care that you like men as long as you like me more." She smiled a teasing smile at him and watched him blush pink.

Peter stammered, "I do...like ye more. I've gotten quite attached ta ye." When he left her after she grabbed a cab back to her motel he sighed. He had no problem with a long distance relationship but figured she'd forget about him after a few months because she found a better choice. He was glad for the time he had with her though. He was proud of her not being a conceited snob simply because she was famous and had money. She had treated him as an equal even though he was socially beneath her. She had even bothered listening to him talk rather than make it all about herself. He really wished they were of the same class but that was never going to happen so he may as well just forget it.


	4. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete gets a call from Clara

It had been a month since Clara had gone home to Hollywood and suddenly the cell Peter still charged and carried because she told him too went off. It took him a minute but he figured out how to answer it. He was at the pub as usual and rasped, "Clara?"

Clara was very busy the last month filming a new movie but was surprised that Peter never tried to call her. Finally one day when she had a day off she decided to call him. When he answered she knew where he was based on the background noise. She said, "Hey. You haven't called me so I thought I call you. You forget about me?"

Peter finished his drink, stumbled outside the pub where it was a bit quieter and lit a cigarette. He cleared his throat and rasped, "No. I could never forget ye. I just figured it'd be better if ye called me. I didn't want ta bother ye when ye are busy. My job is boring and can be interrupted. I'm sure yer people don't like it when ye are interrupted in the middle of working."

Clara sighed, "I still would have answered, Peter. What you been up to anyway? Anything new going on in Glasgow?"

Peter scoffed, "No. Just the usual shite with the occasional murder thrown in here and there. I'm getting to old ta be walking from end of this bloody city ta the other. My feet hurt my back and legs hurt. Sorry. Ye don't need ta be bothered with my bullshite."

Clara replied, "It's all right. I want to know about how you are doing as well. Have you not figured out that I care about you? If you are feeling unwell or something I'd like to know. We are trying to have a relationship remember? That means we bother care about each other, yeah?"

Peter sighed, "Aye. I just didn't think ye needed ta be bothered with my problems with how busy ye are filming. I'm just a mouse in a maze compared ta ye."

Clara replied, "Not to me you're not. You are just as important to me as any other boyfriend or girlfriend would be. Got that?"

Peter sighed, "Whatever ye say, boss."

Clara teased, "Oh boss huh? I think I like that."

Peter chuckled, "I thought ye might. Ye did admit ta being bossy." He knew they were bantering now but he couldn't help it. She made it so easy to ignore that she was a star. He ground out the butt of his old cigarette and lit a new one and took a long drag on it. He had started walking home while he was talking to her. He wound up having to bend over and cough a few times. He was gasping for air between coughs until he was wheezing enough to not cough. He had taken the phone away so he didn't cough in her ear while he was leaning over with his hands on his bent knees.

Clara was talking and she heard Peter start coughing and gasping for air. She panicked and yelled, "Peter? Peter?! Are you all right?" She was relieved when he finally answered her. He was wheezing pretty bad but he was breathing at least.

Peter leaned against a wall and wheezed, "Aye. I'm fine. Smoker's cough.....That happens sometimes. Walking and smoking......not a good idea. Not at my age anyway."

Clara asked, "Why are you walking?"

Peter rasped, "I'm going home. I live a few blocks from the Press Bar."

Clara asked, "Really? You'll have to show me where sometime when I'm up there again."

Peter rasped, "Ye wouldn't like it. It's an old dingy hole in the wall. I'm poor remember? Not a very nice neighborhood either, lassie. Ye'd do well ta not come near my place. Only have one bed anyway."

Clara teased, "That's all we need is one bed, Peter. Sooner or later I am going to get you into bed with me." She was happy to be talking to him again. She loved his gravely Scottish accent. zit really turned her on.

Peter replied, "Aye, Boss. If ye say so. Ye go ahead and keep trying." He unlocked the door to his apartment and flopped down on his uncomfortable sofa with his ashtray. He lit a cigarette and turned on the TV on low. He was really surprised to find when they said goodbye that they had been talking for 3 hours. He turned off the TV, plugged in the almost dead cell phone, changed into his pajamas and flopped on his bed to finally fall asleep.


	5. First Night Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara's back in town. Peter finally breaks down and goes with Clara to her hotel. They spend 2 weeks together.

2 months later Peter was sitting in the pub when the cell went off in his pocket. He slurred when he answered it, "Clara? What ye been doing?"

Clara had decided to take a couple weeks off from filming and took a flight to Glasgow to see Peter. When he answered the cell she knew he was drunk again but she came to the right place. She replied, "Hey, handsome. I got a surprise for you."

Peter slurred, "Oh? How are ye going ta surprised me all the way in Hollywood?"

Clara stood in front of his table and touched his hand. She said, "I'm not in Hollywood. Surprise." She saw him set the phone down on the table and blink at her in shock.

Peter slurred, "Well, lassie. That is a surprise. Sit if ye like." His eyes were blurry but he could tell her outline and voice anywhere. He took his glassed off and plopped them on the table since his vision was blurry either way. He saw her leave and come back a few minutes later with a glass of wine for herself and a tumbler of whiskey for him. He shook his head and slurred, "If I didn't know better I'd say ye were encouraging me ta drink."

Clara replied, "I don't like to drink alone and you are perfectly capable of getting drunk without me."

Peter quietly replied, "Aye. That I am, lassie." He lit a cigarette and took a drag before asking, "Why are ye here?"

Clara replied, "I decided to take some time off to visit you. I am still welcome to visit you aren't I?"

Peter coughed a couple times before replying, "Aye. Ye are welcome anytime. I just didn't to expect ta see ye again for a while. I've been seeing ye on TV with yer young men. Just figured ye were too busy for me."

Clara sighed, "They are not my men, Peter. I just go out with them as friends. I have never taken any of them home although a few of them tried."

Peter took a sip of his whiskey and replied, "Maybe ye should. They are the same age as ye are and from the same social class. They are a better match for ye than I am."

Clara groaned, "Will you stop doing that. I'm not going to dump you because you are "old and poor" and you want to know why? I don't care if you are poor and I happen to like old men. You are a decent man even with your alcoholism and other issues. Besides you aren't that old yet."

Peter bitterly laughed, "I'm 49 years old, Clara. I turn fifty in April. I'm probably twice yer age."

Clara asked, "Really? You don't look 50. Maybe 45. That doesn't matter though to me. I couldn't stop thinking about you since I left here after we met. I want to be with you, Peter. I would not be here if I didn't choose to be here."

Peter sighed, "Ye picked a hell of a lousy choice, Clara. I'm not arguing with ye about it but I'm an awful choice. I'm thrilled that ye chose me but I have a feeling someday ye may regret it. That's all I'm saying."

Clara said, "Come back to the hotel with me. Please, Peter?"

Peter sighed, "All right. I'm going ta regret it in the morning but I'm tired of fighting," He went with her to her hotel and she started to undress him. He stopped her busy hands and said, "I'm not much to look at with clothes on and even less with them off, Clara. I'm soft around the middle, pale and terribly thin everywhere else."

Clara kissed his lips and replied, "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" She smiled when he didn't fight her when she took him to her bed. When he was naked she looked at him. He was pale and thin everywhere except his middle that stuck out slightly and was soft and squishy to the touch but she thought he was handsome just the way he was and made sure to tell him so as she stripped her own clothes off before crawling into bed with him. She gently took his glassed off his face and set them on the night stand before kissing him and nipping at every inch of his body. 

Peter couldn't figure out why she still thought he was handsome but he did his best to make her happy. Even if he never saw her again after tonight he at least wanted her to be able to say he was a patient and attentive lover. When he felt her come around him he let go himself before he collapsed on top of her until her caught his breath. He finally managed to roll off of her and felt her curl up on his shoulder. He felt her breathing even out and whispered, "Mi gràdh thu, eudail." He kissed the top of her head before nodding off to sleep himself.

Clara woke up the next morning with a warm body spooned against her back and she panicked for a minute until she remembered who it was that had his hand possessively around her breast. She could feel he was half hard against her rump. She lightly wiggled a little bit against it and felt him twitch. She smiled when she felt him nuzzle her hair with his nose. She realized it was an unconscious gesture when she felt him suddenly go stiff. 

Peter woke suddenly when he realized he was in bed with someone. He stiffened and pulled back from the woman in front of him. He knew it was a woman because of his hand grasping her firm breast. He scrambled backwards when she moved until he felt his glassed being perched on his nose. He then clearly saw it was Clara and whispered, "Shite." He couldn't remember the night before but it was apparent they had slept together. He sighed, "Ye finally got what ye wanted, Clara. Hope yer happy. Ye can go back home and tell everyone how ye got the tired old hack in yer bed." He then started to get up but was stopped when Clara sat on top of his stomach. 

Clara asked, "What are you talking about, Peter? I didn't get you into my bed as a conquest. I don't.....sleep with just anyone. I also am not the one that initiates it usually. I did with you because I want you as a mate. You made it quite clear you don't believe in one night stands and I wouldn't have kept trying if I only wanted one night with you. I do respect morals, Peter. I thought I made it perfectly clear that I accepted your conditions and want a relationship with you. A REAL relationship."

Peter groaned, "I don't understand why ye want me. I'm a nobody. I'm just an old alcoholic. I find it hard ta believe someone as beautiful and young as ye are would want someone like me."

Clara leaned down and whispered, "Well I do and it's not just because you are a good lay either. No I'm serious. You are a wonderful lover, Peter."

Peter turned pink and mumbled, "Thanks I guess. I'm glad at least I did something well enough." He looked at her naked form for the first time with clear eyes even though his head was pounding. She was curvy and full figured with pert little breast with beautiful tanned skin and pert nipples. He could tell her legs were thin but strong. He reached a shaking hand toward her breast but stopped unsure if he was allowed to but was relieved of the worry when she took his hand and placed it on her breast. He whispered, "Ye are so beautiful, Clara, my Clara. Shite. Sorry. I have no right to call ye that."

Clara replied, "No. Don't. I am your Clara. We wouldn't have gotten this far if I wasn't, Peter. I love you my silly old man."

Peter replied, "Mi gràdh thu, eudail." 

Clara asked, "What does that mean?"

Peter sighed, "I....can't...not yet."

Clara sighed, "All right but you promise to tell me what it means eventually?"

Peter rasped, "Aye. When I'm ready ta, my Clara."

Clara kissed him deeply before she started kissing a trail down his body and lightly sucked and nipped at his soft belly. She found it amusing how he would start muttering on in a different language in the throes of passion. She asked, "What language are you speaking?"

Peter was so distracted by what Clara was doing it was all he could do to gasp, "Gaelic." He found he really liked her nipping and sucking at his belly for some reason. He just continued to moan and mutter in Gaelic even as he rolled her over and teased her until she had an orgasm before entering her and making love to her slowly. He felt her come first and then he sped up until he came inside her yelling endearments in Gaelic. He knew he completely screwed because he was in love with her and that he would wind up with a broken heart but he was to happy to care right now. He rolled onto his back with a whispered curse because his head was still pounding. He wasn't even sure how he managed to ignore it this long.

Clara got up and went over to her bag and go a couple of pain pills with a glass of water. She handed them to Peter and said, "Here, lover boy. Take these. They'll help a bit with the headache." She was surprised when he took them without question. She kissed his cheek and put the glass down on the nightstand. She could tell he needed someone to look after him because he was complete rubbish at doing it himself. She was happy though that despite his alcoholism he still had a rather good libido. She was also very glad he's a good and considerate lover. She sat cross legged and ran her fingers through his curly hair trying to help sooth his headache. 

Peter felt her fingers in his hair and whispered, "Why do ye take care of me, eudail?"

Clara replied, "Because I love you. Isn't that what a mate does? They take care of their mate?"

Peter replied, "Aye but ye are not my wife. Ye don't have ta feel like ye should take care of me."

Clara just replied, "Shut up. I want to take care of you." She kissed his forehead and scooted to lay back down next to him. She let him rest because she could tell his headache was bad. She played with the curly grey hair on the lower part of his soft belly. She realized he had fallen back to sleep again so she took his glasses off of his face and placed them on the night stand again. She hoped that when he woke up again he felt better. 

Peter woke suddenly and groaned, "What time is it, Clara?"

Clara looked at the clock and replied, "10:30 in the morning."

Peter cursed, "Shite! Mr. Devlin's going to have a fit. I have to get to work." He threw the clothes on he wore the day before and kissed Clara as he ran out the door. He yelled, "I'll see you later. Sorry." He hailed a cab to the Daily News and got a bunch of looks from everyone but they were all blessedly silent. He managed to get his articles in before the paper went out and left a little after 5pm. He felt bad about just running out on Clara like he did but hopefully she would understand. He was very surprised to find her waiting at his table in the pub with a glass of whiskey for him when he got there. He sat across from her and said, "I'm sorry about this morning, Clara. I wasn't intentionally rude ta ye. I just had ta get ta the office. I.."

Clara just replied, "Shut up. Just shut up. It's all right. I'm not angry. A little hurt but not angry. I think I understand why you get hurt when I don't call as often as I should. It's my fault anyway. I should have asked you if you needed to be out of bed by a certain time. It didn't cause you any problems I hope."

Peter just replied, "Not really. Just a few glares and disdainful looks. They think I got plastered again and over slept. That isn't untrue exactly but not the whole reason I was late. I should have told ye I needed ta be up by 8 in the morning ta get to work by 9am. Sorry."

Clara took a hold of his shaky hand and said, "I think you might want to get a change of clothes. You smell like a brewery and a bon fire."

Peter replied, "I figured I'd do that when I woke up in the morning." He took a sip of the whiskey and shrugged.

Clara replied, "You're going to run back to your place from my hotel before going to work?" 

Peter replied, "I...didn't think ye'd be wanting me ta go with ye." He lit a cigarette and let her figure out what he was talking about.

Clara said, "Why not? Oh Peter. You still think I'm toying with you. I'm not and I never would. I really do love you. You really are insecure. I'm sorry that you are that damaged but I'm not going to just dump you now that I've slept with you. I don't sleep with anyone I don't want a relationship with. I hope someday I'll get that through your muddled brain. I may not spend a lot of time with you but that doesn't mean I'm not going to fight for this relationship."

Peter replied, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm all yours for as long as ye want me. Ye are the happiest thing that has ever happened ta me. Ye can wait her and I'll go run and get a bag."

Clara said, "I'll come with you."

Peter sighed, "I'd rather ye didn't, Clara. I promise I won't be long."

Clara sighed, "All right. You win. This time. I'll be waiting so don't take too long, yeah?"

Peter leaned down and lightly kissed her lips and replied, "No. I'll be back soon as I can, eudail." He ran to his apartment and got a change of clothes. After a couple of hours they went to her hotel, made love and fell asleep in each other's arms. The next 2 weeks everyday was pretty much like that. He went out to dinner with her a couple of times and watched TV with her in her room on lazy days that he had off. He was finally comfortable being naked around her and finally accepted that for whatever crazy reason she found him sexy and attractive. He still thought she was a bit crazy but he wasn't going to argue anymore. On the day flew home he went with her to the airport and kissed her goodbye. He said, "Clara. Mi gràdh thu, eudail. It's Gaelic and.... means..I love ye, sweetheart. You may not realize this but...my heart is yers ta cherish or destroy, Clara." 

Clara wrapped her arms around him and replied, "I love you to, Peter. I'll call you to let you know I got home safe. Thank you for a good couple of weeks."

Peter sighed, "All right. Thank ye for coming. I'll miss ye."

Clara replied, "I'm going to miss you too. I'll be back as soon as I get another break. I promise."

Peter smiled sadly and replied, "I'll be waiting. Goodbye, eudail." Peter was happy every time she would call him even if she couldn't talk long. 

Clara kissed his lips again before saying, "Bye, Peter." She ran to catch her plane and all ready felt the loss from not being with Peter. Sometimes she hated being a famous woman. Then she could have stayed in Glasgow with him. She still hoped one day she'd be able to get him to come live with her but until then she would have to live with what she has with him. She called him a lot over the next few months but didn't get to talk long because of her schedule. She agreed it was better if she called him because of how busy she was filming right now.


	6. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara surprised Peter by visiting and some unexpected news.

4 months later Peter walked into his apartment to find it had been cleaned. He shrugged thinking maybe the landlord's wife had been there and got tired of his clutter and dust being all about the place. She had done that a couple of other times. He got himself a glass of scotch and went to his bedroom to find someone was in his bed. He was even more surprised to find out who it was that he noticed was naked in his bed. He stammered, "Um I think ye may have the wrong apartment, Lassie."

Clara had come to Glasgow and got the pub manager to tell her where Peter lived. She got the land lady to let her in, cleaned the place and then waited for him naked in bed. She smiled and sat up when she saw him. She replied, "No, Peter. I don't have the wrong apartment if you are here."

Peter choked, "Clara? What the hell are ye doing here? I told ye ta stay away from my place. I.." He had wanted her to stay away because his apartment was run down, dusty and cluttered even though he wasn't a dirty or slum like tenant. He knew it was nowhere near her standards. 

Clara sighed, "I know what you told me, Peter. You have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to judge you because you live in a tiny rundown apartment and are bad at keeping house. Nor am I going to judge you because it smells like cigarette smoke and whiskey. I already expected that because you smell the same as the apartment. I apologize but I did clean it up a bit for you."

Peter sighed, "Why are ye here anyway? Don't ye got a movie ta make or something?"

Clara asked, "Did you not wish to see me? Have you found someone else?"

Peter finally sat on the end of the bed and replied, "No. I just figured maybe ye had. Every time I asked when ye'd be visiting ye blew me off with work. I just thought ye had gotten bored with me, Clara. I'm not a pretty young man like I see ye with on TV. I can't compete with that. I'm just a tired old man who fell in love with a young movie star."

Clara wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind and replied, "Just for the record. I have never had an interest in pretty young men. I only go to events with them to shut my agent up. I want you to know that I never have and never will sleep with anyone but you, Peter. You are the one I want and fell in love with months ago. I will beat that into your head until it sticks if I have too."

Peter asked, "How long are ye staying this times, eudail?"

Clara played with his tie from behind him while she answered, "Oh hopefully close to a month. I'm in between films right now. Next one doesn't start shooting for a month."

Peter said, "That's good. For what it's worth, Clara. I am glad ye are doing well. I just feel lost without ye."

Clara replied, "Well that could be changed, Peter. You could come live with me in Hollywood. Then we'd always be together when I wasn't working. Please. Just think about it."

Peter groaned, "Clara I don't belong in yer world anymore than ye belong in mine. It's not that I don't want ta be with ye. It's just Ye are better off with them not knowing about me."

Clara sighed, "Peter, I don't give a shit what they would think of you. You have faults but you are a kind and loving man. I think you'll even make a good father."

Peter stammered, "Father? What?" He suddenly realized she was a bit rounder than the last time he'd seen her.

Clara coaxed him to turn around placed a hand on her belly. She kissed his cheek and replied, "Yes. You are going to be a father." The last thing expected was for him to go limp and fall to the floor unconscious. She knelt on the floor next to him and was amazed to find the whiskey tumbler didn't break when it hit the floor. She shook Peter until he snapped out of it.

Peter asked, "What...happened? Clara? Oh shite I remember now." The last thing he had ever expected was Clara to tell him she was carrying his child. He let her help him sit up and then stood up before stripping out of his clothes and laying down on the bed. He let her curl up with her head on his shoulder before asking, "When? How far along are ye?"

Clara sighed, "I'm about 4 months along. It happened the last time I was here. You are definitely a fertile man."

Peter groaned, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I assumed ye were are birth control seeing ye are an actress. Now I've gone and knocked ye up."

Clara turned the lamp on and looked him in the eyes. She replied, "I was the one who chased you. Ultimately it was my fault but I'm not upset by it. I wanted a family and I couldn't think of a nicer man to give me children."

Peter groaned, "I can see the headlines: Poor alcoholic hack journalist knocks up rich movie star. Bet yer press agent will have a field day with that one. He'll probably want ta kill me. Not ta mention yer father." He wanted to marry her but he didn't think she'd want to because he wasn't her class and he'd only manage to embarrass her. He started muttering under his breath in Gaelic.

Clara replied, "I love you. I mean if you don't want to help me raise this child or even be part of its life....I'll have to live with that but I'd like you to be. You don't have to marry me if you don't want too but I'd like our child to at least know it's father."

Peter sighed, "I want ta be part of the bairn's life and to marry ye. I just don't think ye need someone like me openly in yer life, Clara. I'm twice yer age, an alcoholic, am Scottish, and am a washed up newspaper hack. I'm not anything but poor low class man. I don't belong in high society. I couldn't serve as anything but to embarrass ye."

Clara kissed his lips and replied, "This is my life and our child. I want you to be part of our lives, Peter. More than the occasional visit to bloody Glasgow. You can even do the writing you wanted to do. Please...Don't make me beg my lover to be my husband."

Peter whispered, "Why me? Ye could have chosen much better than me."

Clara replied, "Because you are kind, loving, sweet, and a gentleman. You defended me when you didn't even know who I was and you didn't treat me like a piece of meat. Under all your faults there is a good and decent man there. There is also the fact that I find you adorable, handsome. cute and sexy too." She lightly ticked his soft, pudgy belly. 

Peter got out of bed and rooted through his drawers until he found what he was looking for. He sat on the bed and said, "All right but I want ta do this right. I'm sorry it's not more romantic but I've wanted ta do this but was afraid ye'd turn me down. Clara Oswald will ye be this old man's wife?" He opened the box and showed her the ring in it.

Clara took the ring out and looked at it. It was a 3 karat round yellow diamond surrounded by smaller round yellow topaz stones. She let him slide it onto her finger and replied, "Yes, Peter. I'll marry you. Where did you get such a beautiful ring?"

Peter looked down at his shaking hands and replied, "It was my mam's engagement ring ta my pa. She gave it ta me when she died in hopes that someday I'd find the right girl ta settle down with. I didn't find anyone I wanted ta give it to until I met ye. I can't afford ta buy ye a ring of yer own. I'm sorry." He knew that if he ever had chosen a woman to give it to it would always be Clara. It really didn't matter that she was carrying his child. He would have asked her sooner if he had thought she'd say yes. 

Clara smiled and replied, "Oh, Peter. It's perfect. It means more this way. Thank you." She got him to lift his chin and kissed his lips. She eventually got him to lay back down. She said, "Please make love to me, Peter."

Peter gently pushed her hair behind her ear and said, "Are ye sure I won't hurt ye or our child?"

Clara replied, "Oh I'm sure. Just be gentle. We'll be fine."

Peter whispered, "Yer the boss." He made slow passionate love to her and afterwards he settled down with his head resting against her baby bump and cried. He never thought he'd ever be a father and now he was terrified and happy at the same time. He felt her hand playing with his curly gray hair. He asked, "What if I'm a terrible da, Clara? I don't have any experience with children. I..."

Clara replied, "You're not going to be a terrible dad, Peter. I've watched you with that girl...Maddy? Granted she's not a child but you are patient with her and I've seen you with a few kids. You are not mean to them. You'll get the hang of it. I'm not worried about you being able to be a good father." She felt him shift up to the pillows and wiped the tears off his cheeks. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the tip of his nose. She watched him drift off to sleep before she finally let herself fall asleep with him.


	7. Peter Gets the Flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well Peter gets ill and Clara takes care of him. They also have a heart to heart.

Peter woke up the next morning with a pounding head and nausea. He wound up just making it to the bathroom before he threw up. When he got back to the bedroom and sat on the bed he felt Clara gently pulling him to lay back down. He rasped, "Sorry I woke ye, eudail. I just was in a hurry."

Clara kissed Peter's cheek and teased, "I thought I was the one that was supposed to have morning sickness. You're not pregnant too are you?"

Peter looked at her and groaned, "Very funny, Clara." He spread his arm to let her snuggle into his side. He usually didn't feel like this even with a headache. He was wondering if he might be getting ill. He figured it was probably the flu or something. He just hoped he didn't give it to Clara. It probably wasn't a good thing for a pregnant woman to get ill. He knew he should get up to go to work but he was in the bathroom again before he could think about getting dressed. He didn't argue with her when she told him to try and go back to sleep after getting two pain pills in him. He grunted, "Sorry, eudail."

Clara kissed his temple and replied, "It's all right, hunny. Maybe you'll feel better when you wake up." She settled down with her head on his shoulder and relaxed when he fell asleep again. She hated to admit it but she really did worry about him all the time and would feel better if he came home with her to Hollywood. She couldn't take care of him if he was in Scotland and she was in Hollywood. She heard the phone ring a couple hours later and managed to find it before answering, "Peter Mclltchie's. May I help you? Oh I'm sorry. He's not feeling well today. Yes I'll let him know you are looking for him. Thank you, Mr. Devlin. Yes he should be back in tomorrow. Have a nice day." 

Peter rasped, "Who was that, Clara?"

Clara kissed his cheek and replied, "Mr. Devlin. I told him you were sick and that you'd be back in tomorrow."

Peter scrubbed a hand over his face and replied, "Oh. Shite." He ran back into the bathroom and stumbled back out about 10 minutes later. He flopped back on the bed and sighed, "Thanks. I'll deal with him tomorrow." He closed his eyes and felt Clara's hand on his forehead.

Clara felt his forehead and said, "I think you have a fever. Wish I had a thermometer."

Peter rasped, "I think I have the flu. It's been going around at the office. Maybe he'll believe I'm sick since everyone else has it."

Clara asked, "I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. You really do look like hell. I mean that fondly but still you need to rest."

Peter started to cough and rolled away from her so he wouldn't cough on her. He finally rasped, "No it's all right. Devlin doesn't really like it when I take a day off since he knows I'm an alcoholic. Coming from someone else though maybe he won't be so angry. He knows I'm not a player so he might not think I'm screwing around when I should be working." He tried to settle down again to go back to sleep.. He knew this was going to be a long day for both of them. By night fall he had finally stopped throwing up and was able to hold down the toast and tea Clara made him. He sighed, "I'm sorry, Clara. I'm sure ye didn't come here ta have to take care of sick old man."

Clara smacked his arm and said, "Shut up. I like taking care of you. It's...normal. I like to be normal sometimes. I don't like having to be the proper movie star all the time. I want a normal life with a normal husband and family. I want you to live with me and have a normal family. I want to be there when you need me. I want you to know how much I love you. I want to share the rest of your life with you. I want US to raise this child together like a proper mum and dad."

Peter sighed, "All right, Clara. I'll think about it. After we get married maybe. I still don't think it's a good idea though." He got comfortable again and Clara climbed back into bed with him. He had to giggle at the fact that neither of them had bothered to even get dressed in a stitch of clothing all day long. He started coughing again and had to roll so he didn't cough on Clara. 

Clara rubbed his back and worried about him again. He had a raspy wet cough that sounded like it was pretty deep. She asked, "Are you all right, love? Your cough sounds pretty bad."

Peter rasped, "Fine, eudail. Sorry. Bloody smoker's cough." When he was done coughing he rolled over to face her and pulled her gently until he could kiss her forehead. He noticed she was crying and wiped her tears away with his thumb. He rasped, "I'm all right, Clara. Why do ye worry so much about me? I'm nothing special. I just don't understand why you think I'm so special."

Clara sighed, "Because I love you. Your my lover and the father of my unborn child, Peter. Now you are my fiancé. Soon to be my husband. I'm always going to worry about you. Why shouldn't I? You're the love of my life. My soul mate."

Peter replied, "I love ye as well but I'm not used ta anyone caring or worrying about me. I don't worry about ye but I know ye are young and healthy. Now that ye carry my child I do feel more concern but not ta the level ye worry about me."

Clara caressed the back of her fingers against his cheek. She said, "I guess I worry more for you because you are middle aged, an alcoholic, smoke, and are complete rubbish at taking care of yourself. Just shut up. I'm afraid of losing you and not being able to be there for you. To not be there for you when you need me and not have spent enough time with you because you are so bloody stubborn about coming to live with me. I'm afraid of you dying while I'm there and you're here and never knowing you did. I'm afraid of our child not being able to spend time with their dad because you are in another country halfway across the world. I don't want to be burying my husband before I've been able to actually have a proper relationship with him. None of that may matter to you but it does to me."

Peter didn't know what to say because he never had expected their relationship to last this long let alone have a future. He had expected her to get tired of the old man and find a younger one not that he had wanted her too. He never thought he'd be marrying her and having a family with her. He had broken his rule of not sleeping with anyone unless he was going to marry them for her because he was selfish. He figured even if he couldn't have her forever then he could have her for a while. Now he was going to be tie her to him for the rest of his life and he felt a bit guilty about that. He was still selfish in the fact that he wants her to be his forever and wants to have the chance to know his child. He sighed, "Clara. I just don't want ye ta regret being married ta me. I am not like ye. I can't be prim and proper. I'm a drunken fool who bluntly speaks his mind and falls over all the time. I'm not one ta have in the public eye. I don't like it myself. I'd rather stay in the background. I'm just very good at making a bloody arse out of myself."

Clara played with the hair on his lower belly and replied, "I don't care. I love you and want you to share my life like a normal husband shares their life with their wife. I'm able to deal with you embarrassing me as long as you love me and our child. I would ask you to be sober for events we go to together but other than that if you could just keep from being plastered for the most part I can live with your drinking. You will be the one to stay at home with our child even though we will probably have a nanny. As for smoking I do have a balcony but there is no smoking in the building. What you wear normally is fine but they have to be cleaned and I will make sure you have more of them. I will take care of you, Peter, until your time comes. I just ask that you be a proper husband and father."

Peter sighed, "All right, Clara. I give up. I need to sort things out her first before I can leave. We have to come back around Easter and Christmas so I can put flowers on my parents graves."

Clara replied, "Fair enough. You can send your belonging ahead if you like."

Peter chuckled, "As ye can see, eudail. I haven't got much. Just my books, articles, clothes and few personal belongings. Being the son of a minister and then a poor reporter ye don't get much in belongings. I doubt I'll need the furniture. The only piece I want ta take with me is the rocking chair in the living room. It was.....my mam's. She rocked me on it when I was a bairn. I'd like ta be able to rock our bairn on it."

Clara kissed him and replied, "You can take whatever you want. We can put the rocker in the baby's room or our room."

Peter replied, "All right." He ran his hand over Clara's hair while she slept beside him. When he finally managed to start to nod off he just hoped he was doing the right thing for them.


	8. My Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara gets hit on and Peter tells them to back off.

The next morning when he went into work he explained to Devlin about why he missed the previous day. Devlin wasn't pleased but he accepted it because everyone else had been ill as well for the last week or so. He had to go out to interview a few people for an article and didn't get back until about 5 pm. He was at his desk typing up the article when his cell phone started vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered, "Clara. I'm trying to finish writing a report. I hopefully will be out of here by 6 pm."

Clara replied, "All right. Are you stopping at the pub or coming home?"

Peter sighed, "I'm an alcoholic. I need a drink. I'm sorry."

Clara replied, "I'll meet you ate the pub then at 6."

Peter asked, "Should ye be drinking in yer condition, eudail?"

Clara sighed, "I figured I drink something without alcohol in it or just keep you company until you decide to go home."

Peter replied, "Ye don't have ta do that. I'm a big boy."

Clara laughed, "Yeah a big boy that is absolute rubbish at taking care of himself."

Peter sighed, "All right. Ye can meet me there but only if ye really want ta. If ye don't then I'll try ta remember ta leave earlier. Hell if I'm not home by 9 just call me again. Ye are very good at using these things."

Clara sighed, "I'll be there by 6. See ya then, hunny."

Peter sighed, "Yup. 6. See ya then, eudail."

Clara said, "Love you, Peter."

Peter smiled and replied, "Love ye too, Eudail." He then went back to work until he finished the article and placed it on Devlin's desk before leaving for the day. He really didn't think moving with Clara to Hollywood was a good idea only because he didn't want to give the public something they could use against her. He entered the pub to find Clara was there in his usual booth in the back with a whiskey and an orange juice for herself. He leaned over and kissed her on the lips before he slid in the booth across from her. 

Clara had been pleasantly surprised when Peter decided to kiss her in public. She noticed the lecherous looks from all the men in the pub when she walked in. She was starting to show that she was pregnant. When one of they started hitting on her Clara replied, "That isn't any of your business. I'm not interested in your offer either. I'm meeting someone here." 

After Peter got there one of the men asked, "Hey, lassie? Who got ya up the duff? Can I get some? Ya must be quite the lay. Ya must be a right whore to if ya are in a pub full o' men after ye are up the duff."

Peter replied, "Ye can shut yer gob, McVie. Ye say anything like that ta my wife one more time I will not hesitate ta punch ye in the nose."

McVie laughed, "Sure she is. Bet the bastard child she's carrying is yours to."

Peter growled, "Aye. As a matter of fact the bairn she's carrying is mine ya bloody bastard. I'm not going listen ta ye bad mouthing her."

McVie replied, "Why would such a fancy lassie want anything ta do with your old drunk arse?"

Clara yelled, "Because I love him! Now just shut up!" She was fuming angry with these men who think Peter isn't worth her time and she's nothing but a pregnant whore or tart. 

Peter lit a cigarette and took a long drag before saying, "Just try ta ignore them. As long as they've known me I haven't had anyone interested in me."

Clara sighed, "It's not fair to you, Peter."

Peter tapped the ashes off his cigarette before taking a drink of the whiskey. He quietly replied, "It doesn't really matter, euadail. Just leave it be."

Clara had always hated how every teased and picked on Peter. She considered that rude and unnecessary. When they were walking home Clara teased, "I'm your wife huh?"

Peter stammered, "I'm sorry.....I just thought because ye accepted my proposal that ye.......wouldn't mind me calling ye my wife ta get them ta leave ya alone."

Clara stopped him and kissed him passionately after pulling him down to her. She replied, "I was teasing you. I like being called you wife. That means I can call you husband. It's only fair after all. Now come along, husband."

Peter stammered, "Aye, wife....You're the boss." He walked with her home holding her hand the whole way. He made slow passionate love to her again before they fell into an exhausted sleep just happy to be with the woman he loved.


	9. Mistunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of Drama *Evil laugh*

When it was time for Clara to go back to California she was a little upset that Peter wasn't coming with her when she left. She said, "You better be coming soon. You told me you would."

Peter sighed, "I know, Lassie. I give ye my word as a Caledonian I'll come. I donnae think it's wise but I will come."

Clara replied, "All right but soon ok? I miss you all ready."

Peter replied, "I miss ye too, eudail. Now hurry up or ye are gonna miss yer plane."

Clara passionately kissed him and said, "I love you with all my heart, Peter."

Peter kissed her forehead and replied, "I love ye too, my beautiful Clara." He watched her get on her plane and his heart broken letting her go again. The right thing ta do would be ta stay away from her except now she was carrying his bairn. He scrubbed his hand over his face as he hailed a cab. He was an old love sick fool. He wound up at the pub two weeks later trying to ignore his mind. He looked up when someone sat next him. He realized it was Paddy. He groaned, "Leave us alone."

Paddy had gotten used to seeing Pete with that starlet and now found it odd that he was alone. She asked, "What's wrong, Dr. Pete? Where's Miss Oswald?"

Peter sighed, "She went home 2 weeks ago, lassie."

Paddy said, "You miss her. Don't look at me like that. I can see how much happier you are when she's around."

Peter replied, "Aye. I miss her. She....wants me ta move ta California with her. I donnae think it's a good idea."

Paddy asked, "Have you told her?"

Peter took a sip of his whiskey and replied, "Aye. She donnae care if I might embarrass the hell out o' her. There's another factor. She's gonna have a bairn."

Paddy asked, "Oh? Is it yours?"'

Peter sighed, "If I believe I am the only man she has slept with since she met me then.... Aye. The bairn is mine."

Paddy asked, "Do you believe her?"

Peter replied, "I donnae see any reason not ta. She may be a movie star but I donnae believe she's a slut. I made sure she knew that if we got together I was ta be the only lover in her life. God why am I even telling ye this?"

Paddy placed a hand on his arm and replied, "Because I'm your friend and you need to talk to someone. Better it's me than someone like McVie."

Peter chuckled, "Guess ye got a point there."

Paddy asked, "Do you love her, Dr. Pete? I meant truly love her?"

Peter took a gulp of his whiskey and whispered, "Aye. More than anyone in the world."

Paddy replied, "Then go to California. Be a movie star's husband. You'd be a fool if you didn't."

Peter replied, "I guess yer right, Paddy. Thank ye for being my friend even when I'm impossible ta deal with. Don't ye ever change." He squeezed the hand on his arm and kissed her forehead.

Paddy smiled and replied, "Ye are the only man worth associating with around here. Besides ye may be an alcoholic but you are a good and gentle man. Keep in touch though so I know you're all right."

Peter finished his whiskey and replied, "Aye. I'll try. Ye'll make someone a good wife someday, lassie." That night he decided what he was taking with him and packed. He shipped his mam's rocker, his books, newspaper albums, typewriter, and a small box of nick knacks he had collected. He then packed his clothes, the few heirlooms he still had, and anything else he knew he'd need. He boarded a plane early the next morning before he could change his mind. He arrived late that night at the doors of the address Clara had given him. There were two door men and he asked, "Does Clara Oswald live 'ere?"

John replied, "That's not your concern pops. Get going."

Peter replied, "Aye. It is. She's my fiancé and she's carrying my bairn. I demand ta speak ta her."

Charlie replied, "She'd never marry drunk old man like you. She does have an image to maintain. Get lost." He knocked the man to the ground and kicked him to get him to leave.

Peter took out his phone and messed around with it until he figured out how to call Clara. He lit a cigarette and sat on a bench a little ways down from her building and waited for her to answer.

Clara was in bed when her phone rang and she ignored it never thinking it was her fiancé. She missed the phone call and nodded back to sleep not realizing she was going to have a disaster in the morning as well as a very hurt and angry Peter. 

Peter cursed when he got her answering machine so he just left a message. He said, " It's Peter.....Yer two goons won't let me in. They say ye'd never want anything ta do with a drunk old man like me. If that's true....I'll go back ta Glasgow and ye can just send my stuff back when it gets here. I may not be young enough or good enough for ye but I'll always love ye, Clara. I'm sorry. Goodbye, eudail." He hailed a cab back to the airport and groaned when his flight wasn't going to leave until 10a in the morning and it was now only 3a. He rarely ever cried but he spent the time waiting for the plane crying of fitfully sleeping in the horrible plastic chairs. He was a complete idiot and was old enough to know better. He was angry at himself for being so gullible and stupid.


	10. Stubborn Old Pete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well....antagonizing press agent and curious housekeepers lol
> 
> 2 Chapters in one day yehaw!
> 
> Fairly long chapter :)

Clara woke up at about 8a the next morning and got dressed to go shopping. As she was finishing getting ready her press agent came in and told her John and Charlie had to send an old man on his way who "claimed" that she was having his baby. She asked, "What did he look like John?"

John replied, "Tall, lanky, smelt of cigarettes and booze, scruffy, and wearing a suit and vest. He also wore glasses. He was just some old drunk."

Clara searched until she found a picture of Peter that he had given her. She asked, "Is this him?"

John replied, "Yeah, might have been. He stalking you?"

Clara yelled, "Oh my god! Why didn't you just come wake me up?"

John replied, "We weren't going to wake you up for some crazy delusional drunk."

Clara yelled, "That's just it! He's not a crazy delusional drunk! He told you the truth! He's my boyfriend! We are engaged and I am carrying his child!" She pulled out her phone and listened to the message she missed and dialed Peter's cell. She was hoping he'd answer.

Peter's fitful nap was disrupted by the phone in his suit jacket vibrating. He thought about ignoring it when he saw it was Clara but he sighed and answered, "What do ye want, Miss Oswald?"

Clara could hear the hurt and anger in his voice. She replied, "Please, Peter. I didn't know you were here until now. It's all a misunderstanding. If you had called to tell me you were coming..I'd have made sure they knew who you were. Please come back here and let me explain. If you still want to go back to Glasgow I'll buy the ticket and reimburse you for everything. Please?"

Peter swore in Gaelic and replied, "Fine. Ye at least owe me an explanation. If I have ta come there ta get it....I guess I'll have too."

Clara asked, "Where are you? I'll send a cab to pick you up."

Peter replied, "The airport. Had a fight at 10a back ta Glasgow." He hung up and waited until the cabbie came looking for him to take him back to Clara's building. He saw the two goons at the door and was surprised when they stepped aside and opened the door for him.

John said, "Miss Oswald is in the 5th floor pent house. Elevator is to your left. Sorry about last night."

Peter nodded and pulled his suitcase behind him with his left hand and carried his trench coat over his right arm. When he got to the 5th floor pent house he knocked on the door and tried to control the shaking in his hands. He was surprised when Clara answered it and jumped into his arms. He wasn't quite sure what to do especially when she gave him a kiss on the cheek. He let her take his hand and lead him inside to the sofa where a man about 20 years younger sat staring at him. He imagined he was quite a sight with wrinkles in his clothes, scruff on his face, his curly hair all a mess because it's longer than he usually had it.

Clara said, "Peter this is my press agent, Harold Henry. Harry this is my fiancé, Peter Mclltchie."

Harry replied, "Where did you pick this...MAN up? Why out of all the pretty young men you have dated did you pick and old decrepit lush like him?"

Clara yelled, "Because I love him! I have never had the slightest interest in pretty young men! If you must know he's a reporter at the Daily News."

Harry scoffed, "So that's why you have been flying back and forth to Glasgow. He should crawl back into the hole he came out of and go home."

Peter growled, "She is having my bairn. I'll be god damned if ye are gonna deny me the bloody right ta know my own child!"

Harry laughed, "So you are the one that knocked her up. No wonder why she never told me who she was sleeping with because I'd be embarrassed to admit I was sleeping with you too."

Clara yelled, "SHUT UP! I am NOT embarrassed by you, Peter. I just didn't think it was any of his business until you moved here with me. You told me you don't like being in the lime light and I knew if I said anything your name would be all over the papers."

Peter replied, "It's.....all right, Clara. I'd be embarrassed ta admit I was yer lover if I was ye with yer status. I knew it wouldn't work out because o' my low class social status, eudail."

Harry laughed, " You are a middle aged drunk! I can have your rights as a father revoked! Then she can marry a real man!"

Something in Peter snapped and he growled, "Oh? Someone like ye perhaps? I may not be much o' a man ta ye but I'm damn well trying ta treat Clara right! I am a Caledonian and that makes me honorable. I got her pregnant so I am marrying her! That is the PROPER thing ta do if ye love someone! I love her and no matter how much shite ye throw at me it isnae gonna change, HARRY!" He them went off in a series of Gaelic swearing. 

Harry said, "Maybe you are just after her money? You are nothing but a poor hack after all. What better chance to marry money?"

Peter growled, "I donnae want her money! Never have. I only want her! I'd still love her if she was a fruit peddler!"

Harry laughed, "Well I'll say you do definitely have the temperament of a Scotsman. Cranky, stubborn, aggressive, drunk, and argumentative."

Peter growled, "Aye. Ye haven't seen my "temperament" yet ye wee bastard. Stubborn is my middle name. Ye can kiss my skinny Scottish arse ye sack o' cum! I was gonna leave and go home but now ye pissed me off! I'm not going anywhere because I donnae like ye."

Harry laughed, "Good. You'll do. That means you got enough balls to stand by Clara. I had to test you and be glad you are a stubborn Scot. Now those smelly suits have to be cleaned if you insist on wearing them. I'll have some more made for you like them. You have to be sober for all public appearances. You can only smoke on the balcony because there is no smoking in this building. If you insist on drinking make sure you are sober enough to be able to function on a daily basis. Especially when the baby is born. I will make sure that we find a nanny just in case you mess up. And for god's sake man comb your hair. Bad enough it's gray and curly but you look like you just crawled out of bed!"

Peter was beyond confused. One minute this bastard was threatening him and the next he was telling him how to act. He groaned, "I need a bloody drink. I thought ye wanted me gone."

Harry sighed, "Look..I don't really agree with Clara's choice of bed warmer but I had to make sure you could at least take the heat. Because of your age and lack of refined speech and manners you will get animosity. Not to mention you are a poor man with a thick Scottish accent which will make you hard to understand sometimes during interviews. Combine that with your....unique words you use and you have a lot that they can pick on you about. You are going to be the husband of a famous movie star and while I can't fix everything about you I need you to at least make an effort to not make a blooming ass out of yourself because that will reflect poorly on Clara."

Peter sighed, "I donnae plan on doing much if any o' that stuff."

Harry sighed, "You are going to have too. You will be going to movie premiers, charity events, sometimes an interview with Clara. It's the way it works here. If the public doesn't see her husband then they'll think there is trouble in paradise and she'll have men trying to lay her constantly. Do you want a bunch of men chasing your wife?"

Peter groaned, "Not particularly. I'm a very jealous man. It wouldnae end well."

Harry said, "Then I would recommend you take my advice and try to be as "polished" as you can learn to be. Now Clara when do you plan on introducing...him to the public?"

Clara replied, "I thought it might be a good idea to let him get settled in first, Harry."

Harry sighed, "Fine. You have a movie premier in 3 days. I expect you to do it then."

Clara sighed, "Fine. I'll see what I can help him with by then."

Harry replied, "Good. I'll see you then. I'll make sure he gets new clothes. He needs to get his measurements taken. I'll send up the tailor. Make sure you get his old clothes cleaned. He smells like a damn bar."

After the man left Peter asked, "Bloody hell! Is he always that bloody charming?"

Clara laughed, "Yeah. Pretty much. Be glad he likes you. You'd hate to see what he's like to someone he hates."

Peter cocked his head to the side and replied, "Likes me? Couldnae have guessed that one. Did ye know he was gonna do that shite?"

Clara sighed, "Yes and no. I knew he was going to test you. I didn't know he'd push you that far. If it's any conciliation you passed. I think it was your Scottish stubbornness and temperament. It shows your determination and ability to stand up for me if you have too."

Peter groaned, "He's a ruddy bastard." He was so tired he was swaying. He felt Clara's arms around him as she guided him to what was apparently her bedroom. She stripped him to his boxers and gently prodded him to lay down. He grunted, "Sorry, eudail. I haven't slept the last couple o' days."

Clara replied, "It's all right. You just go to sleep for a while. I got some shopping to do and then I'll be home, ok?"

Peter mumbled, "Aye. Yer...the...boss.." He was asleep almost instantly.

Clara kissed his temple and covered him over soon as he fell asleep. She had a feeling he'd be out like a light for a few hours. She took all of his old suits and put them in the dry cleaner. She picked up a couple of dress shirts she thought would look sexy on Peter as well as a couple of suits so he had something to wear until the tailored suits and his old suits got back. She also got him some new ties, boxers, socks. and pajama pants and silly tee shirts that kind of matched each pair of pants. As an afterthought she stopped and bought a carton of his cigarettes and seven bottles of good whiskey. She figured at most one a day...hopefully less than that but she'd rather be able to control it by buying it then have him going to a bar and getting smashed in public. When she got home he was still out cold and her housekeeper was there.

Sally said, "Hi, Miss Oswald. I'm sorry but I couldn't make you bed. It's.....occupied."

Clara replied, "That's fine, Sally. The man occupying my bed is my fiancé, Peter. You'll meet him properly when he wakes up. He had a long two days."

Sally said, "Forgive me for saying Miss but he's old enough to be your dad. I admit that's who I thought he was when I came in. Wouldn't a younger man be better for you?"

Clara replied, "I love him. I'm not interested in "young" men. Besides he's the father of my child. He's a wonderful man in many ways."

Sally gasped, "I'm sorry. I didn't realized he was the baby's father."

Clara replied, "Now you know. He is going to be living here with me. You treat him with the same respect you give me. You take care of him when he needs it. That includes meals or whatever else he needs you to do. If you are unsure then you ask me. When you go shopping I may require you to buy Whiskey and cigarettes for Peter. He is an alcoholic. He is allowed only one bottle of whiskey a day at the most. Hopefully I'll be able to get him down to half a bottle. The rest are to be locked up and I will keep the key. If he gives you a problem have him talk to me. I will discuss it with him when he wakes up. Is that understood?"

Sally replied, "Yes, Miss. Is he mean when he's drunk?"

Clara replied, "No. He can be a bit depressed and cynical but he's not mean. He's actually very gentle and lovable. He can be very sweet and kind as well. He's also very shy and easily embarrassed so please remember to knock on the bedroom door and wait for an answer before walking in if he's not up and out here when you get here. He normally gets up around 8a or earlier so he should usually be up when you get here at 9a. If he isn't well please check on him every so often. If anything happens to him make sure you call me."

Sally replied, "Yes, Miss. Um...." She as looking toward the bedroom where the man they were currently talking about had stuck his head out.

Clara turned around and said, "Peter, you're up. Are you staying up for a while or do you want to sleep longer?" By this time she had come over by the door.

Peter whispered, "Where are my clothes, eudail? Who is that young woman?"

Clara gently coaxed his to back up and replied, "Well the young lady out there is my housekeeper Sally. As for your clothes...I had to take them to be cleaned. So....I bought you some new ones. I hung the suits, shirts and ties in that closet over there and the jammies, boxers, socks etc. are in this dresser here. You will be needing to get fitted for more suits but I thought maybe we can do that tomorrow. Your old suits I will pick up at the dry cleaners when they are clean. Your old pajamas and under things need to be washed because they smell like your suits."

Peter did the dying fish look and finally replied, "Oh. Hhokay. Thanks. Ye didn't have ta buy me new clothes though."

Clara kissed him firmly on the lips and replied, "I wanted to. Besides I'm going to take care of you now. I also bought you a carton of cigarettes. Try to keep it to a pack a day or less please. I also bought Whiskey. You can drink up to one bottle a day only. I'd suggest you make it last. I'd prefer you drink only half a bottle a day but I'm not sure how many tumbles made a bottle so...we can work on that. The rest are to be locked up and I have the only key to the liquor cabinet so DO NOT badger my housekeeper for another bottle. Do you understand and agree?"

Peter sighed, "Aye, yer the boss. It's yer home." As annoyed as he was for her limiting his alcohol he understood she meant well. She could have refused to let him drink at all under her roof so whatever she wanted from him he'd do. He realized he'd have to make some adjustments to his routine if he married her. He just wasn't exactly happy about it.

Clara smiled and replied, "Good. Now give me those boxers and I'll get them washed with the rest of your things. You can put on whatever you like if you want to get up. Dinner will be ready soon so I'd like you at least eat something even if you go back to bed shortly after."

Peter blinked owlishly at her as he tried to process what she said in his sleep deprived brain. He replied, "Aye. I'll dress and come out for dinner then. I need a cigarette anyway."

Clara took his boxers when he handed them to her and kissed his cheek before slipping out of the room so he could get dressed in peace. She put the boxers in the hamper and said, "Peter will be coming out for dinner, Sally."

Sally replied, "Very well, Miss."

Peter found Clara had an unusual sense of humor. He found pajama pants with polka dots, skulls, and writing quills all with matching tee shirts. He burst out laughing at the pants that had whiskey bottles on them with a matching tee shirt with Jack Daniels on it. He figured it was a jibe at his alcoholism but he was too tired to be upset about it. He figured what the hell and put on the whiskey set since he really didn't feel like getting really dressed. He tried to tame his hair some, got his cigarettes and matches before he walking into the living room with bare feet. He asked, "Clara? Do ye have an ashtray? I forgot ta bring one o' my own."

Clara looked through her cabinets until she found a tiny glass bowl. She said, "You can use this for now. I'll have to run out and get an ashtray for you tomorrow."

Peter replied, "Thank ye, eudail." He then padded across the carpeted living room and went out on the balcony.

Sally said, "He's not American is he, Miss? He's also not English like you is he?"

Clara replied, "No. He's Scottish. Well he calls himself Caledonian. I believe that was the old name for Scotland many centuries ago around the time of ancient Rome but he likes the name. Can't blame him. I like the sound of Caledonia." She watched Peter sit in one of the deck chairs and place the bowl on the little table while he lit a cigarette. She realized the man needed a lighter rather than matches so she added that to her list. When dinner was ready she stuck her head out the sliding glass door and said, "Peter? Dinner's ready, hunny."

Peter had been sitting on the little balcony for quite a while. The more he thought about he knew he really didn't belong in Clara's world but he wasn't about to pass up his one chance at happiness. He was definitely a stubborn old Scotsman. He was on about his 4th cigarette when he heard the sliding glass door open and Clara tell him dinner was ready. He replied, "Hhokay. I'll be in soon as I finish this cigarette, eudail." When he finished the cigarette he ground it out in the bowl and gathered his things and went inside. He sat where Clara told him and ate whatever amount he got because he knew Clara was watching him out of the corner of her eye making sure he ate enough. When he was finished he said, "I hope ye don't mind if I go lay back down, eudail. I'm still tired."

Clara replied, "All right but I want you to meet Sally first. This is Sally, my...our housekeeper. If you need something just ask her. She cooks cleans, does the laundry, and so on. If you ask nicely she'll probably do just about anything....well within reason. Some things are just mine."

Sally said, "It's nice to meet you, sir."

Peter politely kissed the back of her hand and replied, "Nice ta meet ye too. If ye need ta call me something with a title..ye can call me Dr. Pete but please donnae call me sir."

Sally asked, "May I ask why Dr. Pete?"

Peter sighed, "I have a doctorate in divinity. My da wanted me ta be a minister. I didnae share his desires. I got the degree but never used it. People at the Daily News used ta call me Dr. Pete because o' that."

Sally asked, "So you are just an un-ordained minister?"

Peter replied, "In a manner o' speaking I guess ye could say that."

Sally said, "Then if you don't mind I'd rather call you Reverend Pete. Even though it's not an official title. I like to be original if you don't mind too much."

Peter groaned, "Bit like a private joke? Aye, fine. If ye are happy calling me Rev than go ahead."

Sally smiled and replied, "Thank you, Rev. I will see you in the morning."

Peter sighed, "Aye see ye in the morning." He walked back into the bedroom, put his stuff on the empty night stand on the left, and curled up on the left side of the bed. He figured if he was on Clara's side she'd just poke him until he moved over. She was annoying like that but god did he love her.

Clara went to bed later and smiled because Peter was curled on his left side fast asleep in her bed. He finally was here and she couldn't be happier. She changed and crawled under the covers next to him and kissed the back of his shoulder. She wrapped her arm around and slid it under his shirt to rest on his soft protruding belly.

Peter felt the hand resting on his belly and rasped, "Eudail?"

Clara hugged him and kissed his shoulder. She answered, "Yeah. It's just me, Peter. Go back to sleep, hunny."

Peter grunted, "Hhokay. Love ye."

Clara replied, "I love you too." She listened to his breathing deepen until he was asleep again before nodding off herself.


	11. The Movie Premier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well it's nosy reporters and angry Press agents.

Pete was sitting on the balcony 3 days later dressed in a new suit and waistcoat in charcoal gray, a black tie, and black dress shoes. He had a though wash, shave, and powdering. It felt like he was the one in the lime light. He drew the line at makeup though when Clara tried to cover his circles under his eyes. Clara had locked all the whiskey away because he had to be sober tonight. He had agreed it was better that she did it because he couldn't promise he wouldn't start drinking from nervousness. He may be an alcoholic but he had enough common sense to know it was his biggest weakness aside from cigarettes. He wound up smoking instead of drinking which wasn't much better but Clara had said he couldn't drink not that he couldn't smoke. He really didn't look forward to going with Clara to her movie premier tonight. The closer it came the more nervous he got and the more he smoked. He took his glassed of and placed them on the table next to his ashtray. He had a headache and his hands wouldn't top shaking. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Clara with a comb. He let her comb his unruly hair however she wanted it. When she stepped in front of him after he put his glasses back on his jaw dropped. She was wearing a beautiful charcoal gray ankle length dress that had an empire waist and pleats that fell over her baby bump beautifully. He stammered, "Ye are beautiful, eudail."

Clara leaned down and kissed his lips. She replied, "You wash up pretty well yourself, Peter." She liked his hair the way it was now. It was really fluffy and curly a bit longer than he was used to but it looked good when combed properly. She sprayed it with hair spray to keep it in place and smiled at the glare he gave her. She said, "Time to go. You won't get the chance to smoke so you may as well leave your cigarettes here."

Peter took a last drag on his current cigarette before crushing it out in the ashtray. He took everything inside and set it on the kitchen counter as he picked up his cell phone on his way out the door. He let Clara get in the limo before him and the slid in next to her. The whole drive she had her head against his shoulder.

Clara could tell he was beyond nervous and said, "Just remember what I told you. Just act like your naturally affectionate self with me. Just try to act natural and try not to be so nervous."

Peter sighed, "What if I say or do something wrong?"

Clara replied, "Well as long as it isn't something complete rubbish I won't flip out much. Harry though may have a fit. But I realized you aren't used to being in the public eye. Mistakes happen and we learn from mistakes. Just don't give them any personal information about yourself. I didn't have time to tell you what you can say without a media circus. Do not tell them you are an alcoholic even if they ask. It's none of their business."

Peter sighed, "Because it would be an embarrassment ta ye ta have a middle aged alcoholic as a boyfriend. Look I understand. I'm....not a catch at all. I'm fucked up and that doesn't give a good impression o' ye and yer choice o' lovers. That's why I didnae want ta start this....I have accepted what I am....but ye deserve better than someone like me."

Clara slapped him hard across the cheek in anger. She said, "Don't you ever say that again. You deserve happiness as much as I do. You make me happy even if you are a stubborn old man. I love you and the only reason I give a bloody damn about what the public think is because it is my livelihood. You are a loving, gentle, sweet and kind man. You have flaws just like everyone else but I can see past them unlike others. I know you are more than just an old drunk. Stop putting yourself down all the time. Do you understand me?"

To say Peter had been shocked when Clara slapped him across the face was an understatement. He had never expected her to do it. Up until now she just yelled at him. He lifted his hand to his stinging cheek in astonishment. He listened to her rant and stammered, "Aye, Boss." Still too stunned to say anything else. If he hadn't realized it before he definitely did now that she was a dominate control freak. He had always been a submissive man for the most part and he now realized why he always had his tail between his legs when she yelled at him. He WANTED to make her happy and he was very distraught when he didn't succeed. He also realized why he didn't fight her when she bossed him around. He actually LIKED being controlled by her and submitting to whatever she wanted him to do. He suddenly realized he was doomed and she was his mistress.

Clara kissed him firmly on the lips before they got out of the car. She was glad when he gave her his hand to help her out. She put her arm through his as they walked up the red carpet. She felt Peter's arm move from the crook of her elbow to settle around her back with hand on her waist.

One reporter stopped them and asked, "Is this your father, Miss Oswald?"

Clara felt the slight flinch from Peter before she smoothly answered, "No. This is my fiancé Peter."

The reporter asked, "No offense but I thought you were going to marry a young man closer to your age."

Clara replied, "For your information I have never had the slightest interest in pretty young men. I have always preferred older more distinguished men."

The reporter asked, "How long have you known each other?"

Clara replied, "About a year."

The reporter asked, "Why did you not bring him before this? You brought younger men with you during that time."

Clara replied, "He just recently moved here to be with me. The reason some of my friends came with me as my "date" were because Peter wasn't able to come with me."

The reporter asked, "Why couldn't he come? Was he afraid he was to old?"

Clara replied, "No. He's from Glasgow, Scotland. It was ridiculous to expect him to fly here constantly for a premier when he had his own job in Glasgow."

The reporter asked, "Scotland? Wow. A long distance relationship? How did you meet? Online?"

Clara replied, "No. Peter doesn't even know how to use a computer. He still uses a typewriter. He was a reporter for the Daily News when I met him."

The report asked, "TV?"

Clara replied, "No. Newspaper."

The reporter asked, "A Journalist? They don't tend to make a lot of money. You sure he's not in it for the money?"

Peter finally have enough of the 20 questions and snapped, "First that isnae any o' yer fucking business, ye sac o' cum. Second I wouldnae bloody be here if I didn't love Clara. I'm no gold digger. I'm not interested in her money. I'm here because o' her and our bairn."

The reporter asked, "Bairn? What does that mean? Did I hit a nerve?"

Peter growled, "Aye. Ye hit a nerve, ye wee shite. I'll..." He shut his mouth when Clara gently elbowed him in the side. 

Clara sighed, "He's referring to his child that I am carrying. It's a term the Scottish use for baby a lot."

The reporter said, "The baby you are carrying is his?"

Clara groaned, "Yes. Now if you will excuse us I have a premier to attend with my fiancé. Come along, Peter. Good day."

Peter automatically replied, "Aye, Boss." He let her drag him away from the nose reporters. He had a feeling he should have kept his mouth shut but it was too late now to worry about it. He sat next to her in the auditorium while they watched her movie. He felt her entwine their fingers together and they stayed that way for the who two hours they were there. When they left he tried to smile for all the cameras. He was worried he might get slapped again for opening his mouth. He got in the limo and sighed, "Sorry, eudail. I just got sick o' them digging for dirt."

Clara replied, "Well even though you need to not insult reporters I can understand. He was rather nosey. I'm not angry. Harry.....on the other hand may be quite mad." Like karma her phone ran and she answered it and listed to Harry rant on about how stupid Peter was to have opened his mouth that way.

Harry was waiting for them and the minute he saw Peter he yelled, "What the hell were you thinking, old man?"

Peter walked in Clara's pent house to find Harry waiting for them on the sofa. He sighed, "Clara? If ye want me ta be able ta deal with this bastard I need a fucking drink. I'm going out for a cigarette."

Harry stood in Peter's way and yelled, "Oh no you don't. You have caused a media circus by calling the reporter a sack of cum. I knew you were low class but I thought you'd have enough sense not to insult and swear at the fucking reporters! They were baiting you and you took the bait you idiot! Are you fucking drunk or high?"

Peter hissed, "Get out o' my way, Harry. I'm stone cold sober right now and not in the mood for yer bullshite."

Harry yelled, "No. You are going to listen or you will be back on a plane to Glasgow faster than you can blink." 

He wasn't sure what did it but he snapped and clocked Harry so hard he knocked him to his arse the floor. He shook his hand out as he realized he just punched Clara press agent. He mumbled, "Sorry." He grabbed his cigarettes, ashtray and lighter before going out to the balcony. He couldn't believe he just did that. He's not a violent person but today he was under a lot of stress and he was pretty sure Harry was the straw that broke the camel's back. He lit a cigarette and took his glassed off. He dropped them on the table next to his ashtray. He took a long drag on his cigarette and held it for a few seconds before blowing the smoke out. He could hear Clara and Harry arguing but he was to tired and angry too care at the moment.

Clara had watched what happened and knew Harry had pushed Peter too far. She didn't expect the older man to hit Harry but she couldn't blame him really.

Harry yelled, "The bastard hit me! He has to go, Clara! He's nothing but a old, short tempered lush! He's unpolished, rude, and an idiot!"

Clara yelled, "You are the one that pushed him over the edge! He warned you to leave him alone but yet you still pushed your luck. You deserved to get punched, Harry! He's had a stressful day! You should have waited until tomorrow before you came here."

Harry yelled, "How do you expect me to deal with a man who is constantly causing a media shit storm for me to have to deal with? I can't protect your image if you stay with him! He'll make an ass out of you and someday you won't be able to come back from it!"

Clara yelled, "I love him! He's the father of my child! You either learn to accept him or you're fired!"

Harry yelled, "Fine. I just hope you don't regret having an IDIOT like him in your life someday. Now I have to go try and stop this disaster THAT drunk created! He may have to issue and apology to the press just so you know. They don't take kindly to being insulted or swore at no matter how many nerves they hit."

Clara said, "I'll talk to him but I'm not going to force him to do it if he doesn't want too. Good night, Harry." She watched as her press agent stomped out of her pent house. She went out to check on Peter.

Peter heard the door slide open but didn't look back. He sighed, "The bastard gone?"

Clara replied, "Yeah. He went to try and clean up the mess you caused."

Peter squeezed the bridge of his nose and replied, "I'm sorry, eudail. I warned ye I'm not meant ta be in yer world. I'm unpolished, blunt, speak my mind, and not afraid ta use foul language when I'm pissed off. Maybe he's right and I should go back ta Glasgow. I'm to far beneath ye ta be with ye." And there it was again....A sharp slap to his face. He placed his hand on his stinging cheek and sighed, "Are ye gonna keep hitting me every time I say something ye don't like?"

Clara replied, "Probably if that's what it takes to knock some sense into you."

Peter sighed, "Ye are a very persistent lassie. I'll give ye that."

Clara sat on his lap and replied, "Do you forget it either."

Peter sighed, "Aye, Boss." He let her get comfortable in his lap and lit another cigarette. Eventually they both got up and went back inside. He stripped out of his suit and hung it up in the closet while Clara slipped out of her dress. He went up behind her and wrapped his arms around her gently placing the palm of his hand flat against the swell of her belly.

Clara leaned back against Peter and said, "Make love to me, Peter."

Peter was only waiting for Clara to ask and he started kissing and sucking on her neck and shoulders. He gently guided her to the bad and coaxed her to lie down. He kissed and sucked his way down her body. He paid special attention to her nipples and neck. He stripped her panties off and continued moving down her body. He was fascinated by the fact that his child was growing inside of this beautiful woman. He kissed his way over every inch of her belly. He slipped two long fingers inside of her while he rubbed her clit with his thumb. He changed his rhythm as her bucking and squirming got more erratic. He kissed her and nibbled on her earlobes. He smiled each time he made her orgasm.

Clara let him play his little game through 4 orgasms before she finally growled, "I need you inside of me now!" She sighed in contentment when she felt him slip all the way inside of her. While he was inside of her she had 2 more orgasms.

Peter chuckled, "Aye, Boss." He positioned himself and entered her slipping all the way in very easily. He started with a slow rhythm and the sped up as he felt Clara was close to climaxing again. He sped up erratically when he felt his climax starting. He felt Clara climax a second time around him and he came with a rasped, "Clara." He rolled off to the side because he didn't want to hurt their baby. He knew Clara liked it when he laid on top of her but he didn't believe it was any good for their unborn child. He heard Clara whine when he slipped out of her but she curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder. He felt her hand playing with the curly hair on his soft lower belly. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. He needed to asked, "Are ye mad at me, eudail?"

Clara played with the curly hair on the soft part of Peter's lower belly. She felt his fingers caressing her shoulder blade. Clara kissed Peter's nipple and replied, "No, Peter. I'm not mad at you. I mad at that reporter and Harry." She knew that he didn't have the experience needed to live the kind of life she has with the media always chasing her. She expected there to be bumps in the road along the way. She just hoped the next time a reporter asked things he at least refrained from swearing at them.

Peter replied, "Hhokay. Just making sure." He started to drift off to sleep a while later.

Clara sensed that he was falling asleep because his hand stopped moving along her shoulder except for the usual persistent shaking. She said, "I love you, Peter."

Peter mumbled, "Love ye too, eudail."

When she heard his light snoring she finally settled down to go to sleep as well.


	12. Chit Chat with Sally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well Pete's lonely and finds someone he can talk too.

Peter was sitting on the balcony at 9a with his Irish coffee and a cigarette when Sally got there. He was wearing one of his old suits that finally came back from the dry cleaners. He had decided to keep the new ones for when he had to go somewhere. Clara had gone to a read through for her next movie and hadn't been sure when she's get home. 

Sally was wondering where Peter and Clara were and saw him sitting on the balcony. She walked over to the sliding door and opened it. She asked, "Rev? Is Miss Oswald here?"

Peter didn't bother to look at the housekeeper before replying, "No. She had a read through for her next movie today. She had no idea when she'd be home."

Sally replied, "All right. Have you eaten yet?"

Peter took a drink of his coffee and replied, "Nope. Not hungry."

Sally replied, "Miss Oswald told me to make sure you eat regular meals, Rev. I don't think you want her to be mad at you."

Peter sighed, "No. I donnae want ta make her mad. She has quite the temper."

Sally replied, "I'm going to make you something for breakfast then."

Peter replied, "Aye. Let me know when it's ready then, lassie."

Sally replied, "Ok, Rev." She went inside and made bacon and eggs as well as another pot of coffee. She did manage to get him to eat some of it and she was grateful for that. She had noticed since Peter had moved in that he spent most of his time on the balcony smoking and drinking. After her work was done she went and asked, "Do you mind some company, Rev?"

Peter grunted, "No. Sit if ye like." He was depressed and lonely without Clara around. He had always felt that way since the day they met so it was no surprise. He looked over at Sally and realized how young she must be. She was probably only about the same age as Paddy. He inwardly groaned because now he was thinking about how much he missed his stubborn friend.

Sally asked, "Are you all right, Rev?"

Peter sighed, "Aye. I just....miss Clara when she not around."

Sally replied, "That's understandable."

Peter took off his glasses and dropped them on the table next to his ashtray. He sighed, "Ye remind me o' a friend I have in Glasgow. Her name is Paddy and she's about yer age. I had no friends.....then one day I met her. She was only about 16 when she started working at The Daily News as a tea girl. She wanted ta be a journalist so bad and she finally got her break. She noticed similarities between a case the police we working on and an old one. I had been the journalist that covered the old story. The girl nagged me endlessly about the old case until she solved it. She got kidnapped by the wanker and I inadvertently saved her life. After that we became best friends and I got the letches at work ta leave her alone. I love her like a daughter. She never liked them picking on me either especially over my alcoholism. I didn't realized how much I missed her...I at least could talk ta her when I was lonely or miserable. I'm sorry....Yer probably not interested in a miserable old man's loneliness."

Sally replied, "I don't mind listening when you need to talk as long as I got my work done. I am very good at listening and keeping quiet. I do not wish to lose my job."

Peter took the last swig of the scotch he had in the tumbler and replied, "Thank ye, lassie. Would ye mind getting me another drink?"

Sally took the tumbler, went inside and poured him another drink. The bottle was only a 3rd gone and it was 3 in the afternoon. She thought that it was a good thing because he wasn't drinking as much as Clara had thought he would. She went back on the balcony and handed him the tumbler before sitting back down in the other chair.

Peter looked up when he noticed Sally was back. He took the tumbler and placed it on the table next to his ashtray and replied, "Thank ye." He started telling her about the bigoted men that he had to work with at the Daily and how they had hit on anything remotely female including Clara. How he had met Clara and wound up throwing his morals out the window because he fell in love with her. Him passing out cold when she informed se was with child and how terrified he is of fucking everything up.

Sally said, "You are quite the talker."

Peter replied, "Sorry."

Sally laughed, "No. I really don't mind. I'm just surprised because you have been so quiet since you moved here 2 weeks ago. I had just assumed you didn't like to talk."

Peter sighed, "I've spent most o' my life alone. I never really had anyone ta talk ta until I met Paddy. I guess I'm just used ta solitude and being ignored. Nobody tends ta notice the silent, old, lonely, alcoholic in the corner o' the pub."

Sally replied, "Yeah. I guess you're right there. Most people do tend to ignore the harmless old drunk that seems to just want to be left alone."

Peter replied, "Aye. Because nobody gives a shite what happen ta them."

Sally replied, "Miss Oswald and this Paddy cared. I even care, Rev. So far I like you even though you are an alcoholic. Besides if Miss Oswald loves you then you must be special in some way to catch her eye. You are the only man I've ever seen her truly fancy. She's dated a lot of men and women but you are the only one she ever brought home since Miss Nina."

Peter replied, "Really? I had thought she probably had a a couple o' others between there."

Sally replied, "Nope. Miss Oswald hasn't been dating since she met you about a year ago. I didn't even connect the dots until the premier on TV. I used to wonder why she would always fly to Glasgow when she had time off from filming. When I noticed she was with child...I knew it was a man that she was seeing but I was a bit surprised when I saw you in her bed that morning. I couldn't see how you worked until I saw how you interact. You are a submissive right?"

Peter made the noise like a horse flapping his lips before replying, "Aye. I am. I donnae mind being bossed around by Clara."

Sally replied, "That's why you work. She's a dominate person and a control freak. Please don't tell her I said that. You are submissive and let her boss you around without a word of protest."

Peter chuckled, "I all ready had figured out she loves ta control me. The night o' the premier I was depressed and she smacked me hard 2 times ta snap me out o' it. Told me she'd do it as many times as she had ta. I believe she would too. She didnae give me a choice about whether I agreed ta some of her conditions o' staying here. Just told me point blank I'd do it or she'd be very angry. I desire ta please her so I agree ta whatever she wants and do it. I like being collared and on a leash by her. I'm her obedient companion. Sorry ye probably think that I'm a masochist or something. Hell maybe I am but only for Clara."

Sally replied, "Oh it's not that strange. If it works for the two of you then it's really no one else's business unless you want to tell them. I know Miss Oswald gets a thrill when you heel to her. I can tell by the look on her face."

Peter laughed, "Well I get a thrill out o' her making me heel. She could probably beat me up and I'd beg for more. I found out I really like being slapped. Christ...I am a bloody masochist after all."

Sally replied, "Yeah. You are the perfect match for each other than. It's no wonder you are together. You seem to enjoy experiencing pain and she's willing to give it to get the message through. You were drawn to each other like a magnet even if at the time you might not have known why."

Peter replied, "Aye. I guess so." He was starting to wonder if Clara would be willing to slap him around and punish him or even deny him release when he was bad. He always felt he deserved to be punished but never thought about who he'd trust enough to do it. He then wondered if she'd be willing to screw him with a vibrator. He was afraid to ask her incase she thought he was weird. He better stop thinking about it or he'd have an erection by time Clara finally did get home. He was glad he was drunk because it slowed his body's reaction to the sexual images flying through his head. 

Sally said, "I'm going to start dinner. If you need anything else I'll leave the sliding door open a little so you can call me." She watched him nod and knew he was definitely wasted because he looked rather stoned. She made dinner and soon after Clara came home and they both drug Peter off the balcony to eat. After she had cleaned up from dinner she called, "See you tomorrow, Miss Oswald, Rev." When they replied she walked out the door and got in her car to go home. 

Clara noticed Peter had only drank about half of the liter bottle of scotch and he was wasted. She barely got him to bed before he passed out unconscious. She had to chuckle that for an alcoholic he couldn't hold his liquor but that was a good thing because he drank less than some alcoholics. Now she knew how much he was used to drinking in a day and work on hopefully cutting it down a bit so he was able to help take care of their baby. She curled up behind Peter and went to sleep listening to his snoring.


	13. Heartbroken Peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heartbreak and tantrums. More drama

A few night later Clara woke with horrible cramps and the sheets were soaked. She turned on the light and yelled, "Peter! Wake up! There's something wrong!" She was covered in blood and only six months pregnant. She rolled him off the bed and he finally woke up.

Peter woke up suddenly when he hit the floor hard. He also realized Clara was in a panic. He sat up and grumbled, "What's wrong, Clara?"

Clara yelled, "I need to go to the hospital. I think there's something wrong with the baby."

Peter fumbled until he found his glasses and saw all the blood. He helped Clara get changed and threw on clean clothes while she called 911. He went with her to the hospital and paced in the waiting room biting his thumb until a doctor came out. He said, "I'm Peter Mclltchie. Is Clara all right?"

Dr. Willow replied, "You're wife has had a miscarriage. These things sometimes happen through no fault of either partner. We did everything we could to try and stop it but we couldn't. She's going to be fine and will be able to still have children. For some reason she wanted me to tell you it wasn't because you two were still being intimate. It is encouraged for healthy relationships. You can be intimate almost up until the day the baby is born providing you are able too. The baby didn't survive. It was not developing properly. It was deformed. It sadly would have never made it to term. I'm so sorry."

Peter was numb at the moment and simply asked, "Where's my wife?" He was pointed in the direction of her room and he walked in to find her asleep. He sat in the chair next to her bed and took a hold of her hand. When she opened her eyes he asked, "How are ye feeling, eudail?"

Clara replied, "Awful. I feel like my guts have been ripped out. I'm sorry, Peter. I..."

Peter sighed, "It isnae yer fault, Clara. I guess I just wasnae supposed ta be a da."

Clara said, "That's not true. I'd slap you but I don't have the strength right now."

Peter kissed her forehead and replied, "It's all right. I'm sure ye'll make up for it later. Ye get some rest, eudail." He eventually fell into a fitful sleep by Clara's side in an uncomfortable plastic chair. He was allowed to take her back home around noon the next day as long as she rested for a few days. He changed the sheets and cleaned the plastic cover. After Clara was comfortable in bed he went out to the balcony to get drunk. He accidentally dropped a dish and then he suddenly snapped and started throwing dishes, cups and bowls on the floor until he finally collapsed on the floor in a fetal ball sobbing. He flinched when he felt a pair a small pair of arms wrap around him and he whimpered, "Leave us alone."

Sally came in as Peter was throwing plates all over the kitchen in a rage before collapsing in the middle of the mess sobbing uncontrollably. She was trying to calm him down when he begged her to leave him alone but she somehow knew he had to talk about what was wrong. She said, "No, Rev. What happened."

Peter sobbed, "Clara.....lost the ....bairn. She lost my bairn......I cannae even make a child properly..." He eventually let Sally take him out to the balcony with a glass of whiskey. He had calmed somewhat by time she had finished cleaning up all the busted tableware. 

Sally had saw Clara sleeping in the bedroom so left her sleep and went to deal with Peter. She sat in the chair next to him and asked, "What happened?"

Peter shakily replied, "We woke up last night.....Clara....There was so much blood...... She lost it....The doctor said the bairn was not developing right.....deformed.... Has ta be my fault.....I'm even useless....at making a child properly..." He felt her grasp his arm and just started sobbing all over again.

Sally replied, "It's not your fault. Sometimes things happen that are out of our hands."

Peter slammed the empty tumbler down on the table and scoffed, "Pppphhhhhttt. I'm just a useless old bloody drunk that cannae even make a bairn right. Clara deserves better than that. I should leave and let her have the chance ta find a man that can..." He received a resounding slap across his face before he could finish speaking. He thought it had been Sally until he saw Clara through blurred eyes. 

Clara had come out to the balcony to find Sally trying to come a sobbing Peter down When he started beating himself up again she slapped him hard across the face. She was furious and yelled, "Don't you bloody dare leave me over this! You are not going anywhere! We will try again! I didn't lose the baby because you have bad sperm! It wasn't your fault or mine! I'm sad that we lost the baby but my fiancé running away because of it isn't the right thing to do, Peter. Dougan. Mclltchie! Now snap out of it! I know you're upset but stop blaming yourself! We both need to grieve but beating yourself up over it isn't going to help either of us right now!"

Peter whispered, "God I'm so sorry, Clara." He broke down sobbing again and Clara helped him into the bedroom and on the bed with her. She held him until he sobbed himself to sleep. She never realized Peter was this heartbroken because he was very calm the night before. She started to realized that he must have been in shock. When he started mumbling in his sleep she carded her fingers through his hair until he settled down again.

Peter woke with a start sometime later and was shaking. He felt Clara holding him and running her fingers through his hair. He finally managed to stop shaking and tried to burrow deeper in her arms if that was even possible. He whispered, "I love ye so much, eudail. I'm sorry I'm so fucked up."

Clara kissed the top of his head where it was burrowed against her breasts and held him as close as she could. She replied, "It's all right, Peter. I love you too. We'll get through this. We just need time to grieve. Then when you are ready we can try again."

Peter whispered, "I don't know that I want ta try again. We didn't plan on this one but.....I just thought......maybe I could have a family. I know it isnae fair ta ye not ta try again....I just don't know if I can."

Clara replied, "It's all tight. Give it some time and if you can't then it'll be all right. I'd like to have a family with you but I'm not going to force you. Who knows it may just happen again without us trying."

Peter sighed, "I'm an old man. Ye really should find a younger man ta marry and raise a family with."

Clara groaned, "Don't make me slap you again, OLD man."

Peter sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just the truth, eudail."

Clara sighed, "Just shut up. I don't care. I love you. It's not going to change."

Peter sighed, "I know, Clara. I know. I love ye too. I'm also very selfish when it comes ta ye. I should let ye go but I...don't want ta lose the only person that has loved me in a long time. I'm just not strong enough ta go."

Clara replied, "Besides if you left I'd chase you down until I drug you back here. I'm very possessive and you belong to me now, Peter. YOU are the one I chose to have a family with and you aren't going anywhere. Do you understand?"

Peter mumbled, "Aye, Boss." He was so drained he slept on and off all day long with Clara at his side. He vaguely remembered eating dinner before falling back into bed again. He was almost instantly asleep when his head hit the pillow.

Clara had thank Sally for her help and apologized for Peter's tantrum. She asked the girl if she would go shopping for some paper plates so they had something to eat on until she could drag Peter out to help her pick a new set of dishes. She crawled back into bed with a now calmer Peter and fell asleep with her hand against his soft belly, holding him as close as she was able to spoon against his back.


	14. Glutton for Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sally and Clara have a talk with Peter and find out he needs something they didn't expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Light BDSM, cutting self harm, self hate...In short a dark chapter.

A couple of months later Clara was still concerned with Peter. He didn't seem angry anymore but he was still severely depressed and wasn't sleeping. After his belongings arrived from Scotland they had put his mum's rocking chair in the bedroom by the window. She would wake up in the middle of the night to a cold empty bed and him sitting in the rocker rocking back and forth staring out the window. He refused to come back to bed and would fall asleep in the rocker. During the day he would be smoking and drinking only stopping long enough to eat when poked and prodded to do it. She had noticed he was drinking a lot more than his usual limit. She was surprised he wasn't unconscious but he would pass out for a couple of hours and then be up again. True to his word though if he drank the whole bottle he didn't ask for another one. Even though she tried he wouldn't talk to her about what was bothering him. She even tried to distract him by intimacy but he just rolled away from her with a nonnegotiable no. She even got desperate enough to pleasure herself next to him to try and coax him out of his stupor but he just ignored her. She had a psychiatrist friend of hers try and talk to him and even Sally kept trying. She just wished he'd talk to SOMEBODY. She was starting to think he was no longer interested in her and angry at her because she lost his child.

Peter was avoiding intimacy with Clara for 2 reasons. One was because he was terrified of losing her. She was the love of his life. He was terrified that if they were intimate then he'd get her pregnant again. Then if she got pregnant again they could lose the baby again or worse she could die from loss of blood or complications during child birth. There had just been so much blood.... No. He'd rather not be intimate and have her alive and well cursing him than to lose her because he got her pregnant again. As much as he knew it hurt her he constantly refused to have sex. Oh she made it hard to say no. When she started to pleasure herself next to him at night he wanted to give in but he just silently cried himself to sleep. He wanted to just reach out and rub her clit and tease her until she climaxed. He was afraid if he even just started he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going all the way. He wanted to make her happy but pleasing Clara was like an addiction. Once he started it was as hard to stop as drinking or smoking for him. So he didn't sleep with her anymore and spent most of the night awake in his mam's rocker. Then he spent the day drinking and smoking until he passed out. He used to cut himself as punishment but he hadn't done that in years. One morning he found his old sterile knife he always used and proceeded to cut his left arm multiple times. He did it because he was punishing himself for refusing Clara's advances. He refused her advances as punishment for causing her to get pregnant and have a miscarriage. In short he was punishing himself with celibacy for sleeping with Clara in the first place and punishing himself by drinking until he passed out unconscious for refusing to sleep with Clara was hurting her. Now he had started cutting himself again because he really wanted to say yes to her. He really was a masochist and needed to be punished for what he did so he punished himself. He punished himself by laying there listening to Clara come over again and cry instead of reaching out to her. He kept refusing her and silently wished she'd get angry and punish him herself for refusing her. He's feel better about that part if she was the one hurting him in anger. He got away with the cutting until after 2 months he was caught by Sally.

Sally had been worried about Peter since he had retreated inside himself soon after Clara had lost the baby. He was drinking and smoking excessively to the point that she had found him unconscious on the balcony many times. Clara had told her that they were not intimate anymore and she didn't understand why he was refusing to be. She was Clara's best friend since they were teenagers. She called the slightly older woman Miss out of respect that she was a servant and Clara was her employer. She called Peter Rev. also out of respect that she was Clara's future husband and by default she was also his servant as well. She really did like the older man that Clara had chosen to marry even if he was old enough to be their father. Imagine her surprised when she came to work on morning to find him with his jacked of and sleeve rolled up. That was surprising but really shocked her was he had 5 fresh cuts on it and he was in the middle of a 6th cut. She saw the terrified look on his face but she just walked over, held out her hand for the knife, once he gave it to her she then proceeded to clean and bandage the wounds. She had never taken him for a cutter or self harmer but he had told her he liked Clara hitting him so it'd not a far stretch of the imagination. She does it herself as punishment for being a lesbian.

Peter silently sat on the toilet and let Sally take care of his wounds. He thought he would be getting a lecture. He finally said, "Ye may as well say it."

Sally replied, "Believe it or not I don't have any room to talk."

Peter's head shot up and he asked, "Ye do it? Why? Yer a beautiful woman." He let her drag him to the balcony and they both sat down. 

Sally sighed, "I was brought up in a strict Catholic family that believes being gay is a sin and you should be punished for even thinking erotic thoughts about another of your gender. I.... cut myself because I am a..... lesbian. I have never had the slightest interest in men and that's why Clara doesn't worry about us being close friends. We have been friends since we were teenagers. I told her I was a lesbian while she was with Miss Nina. I know she is bisexual and that you must be accepting of homosexuals because I know she's told you about her relationship with Miss Nina. Her breakup was a media circus and if she didn't tell you someone else would have eventually."

Peter asked, "Ye must have a girlfriend with how beautiful ye are."

Sally replied, "No. I had one in high school but she dumped me for another girl."

Peter leaned back in his chair and replied, "I'm sorry it didnae work out for ye. Ye'll find another girlfriend when the time is right. Ye are young and have the time."

Sally asked, "Why do you do it?"

Peter knew what she was asking about and just sighed, "Because I deserve it."

Sally replied, "I had figured that out but why do you deserve it?"

Peter took his glasses of and dropped them on the table and lit a cigarette. He took a drag on it and answered, "I broke my own rules. If I didn't sleep with Clara...she wouldn't have been carrying my bairn....she wouldn't have...lost it. I'm punishing myself by refusing ta sleep with her....I'm drinking myself unconscious because I'm hurting her when I refuse her. I'm cutting myself because I donnae want ta refuse her. God help me but I WANT to sleep with her. I am terrified that if I sleep with her I'll get her pregnant again and this time I might not be so lucky and lose her and the baby."

Sally asked, "Why don't you just talk to her? Maybe she go back on the pill."

Peter replied, "No. She told me when she was in Glasgow after she was carrying my bairn that she wouldn't because she wants a family with more than one child."

Sally sighed, "You should still talk to her. She is beyond worried about you. She afraid that you no longer desire her and are angry at her because she lost the baby."

Peter whispered, "I desire her too much. I.....donnae want ta kill her....I'd kill myself if she died because o' me.."

Sally replied, "She's not going to die because you are intimate. Even IF she got pregnant and had another miscarriage.... she's not going to die. Modern medicine has made it so that it rarely if ever happens. Child birth is the same thing. Why are you so worried about that?"

Peter rasped, "I had a sister.....She died during child birth when I was a wee lad. She was unwed and 16. I was only 5 I think. I....blocked it out. I didn't even remember until I...... saw all the blood with Clara. My sister..... She was covered in her own blood and......the baby was still born. The doctor's couldn't.......stop the bleeding. She...she bled out right in front o' me in her bed. I wouldn't leave her until.....the coroner came.....I loved her so much.....I wanted ta go with her." He was crying badly by time he finished.

Sally placed a hand over his and replied, "Clara won't die like your sister did. How long ago was that? 30-40 years ago?"

Peter replied, "50..years ago."

Sally asked, "You're...55? Well there have been a lot of changes since then. I hadn't realized...."

Peter asked, "That I was over half a century old? Clara donnae know my age either. I.....never told her. Never told her my birthday either. Was too afraid of being rejected if she knew my age."

Sally asked, "When's your birthday?"

Peter replied, "April 14th."

Sally replied, "Well. I can tell you that she doesn't care if you are 45, 50, 55 or any age after that. She just has always liked older men. She adore you and I know that for certain, Rev. Just talk to her and tell her what you told me." 

As Sally was leaving Peter said, "I'm not stupid. I know ye are going ta tell Clara what I just told you, lassie. In fact I'm sure she'll always know everything we talk about but donnae tell anyone else about this. If ye do I will never talk ta ye again about anything."

Sally replied, "I understand. I will try to keep it simple with Clara and I give you my word that nothing we talk about will leave this pent house by me saying anything."

Peter finished his drink on the table and replied, "Fair enough."

Sally then went inside and started her work. When Clara came home some hours later she took her aside and said, "It's not you. He still wants you and he's not angry at you. He's like me....a cutter. He feels everything is his fault and he needs to be punished."

Clara replied, "Are you sure? I never noticed any scars on him from cutting..."

Sally replied, "I'm sure. Caught him doing it on his left arm myself. I made sure the cuts were properly cleaned and bandaged. He looked to have recently restarted....He may have not done it for years and then the miscarriage triggered him to using it again as a coping mechanism."

Clara asked, "Why?"

Sally replied, "He's punishing himself with celibacy because he slept with you at all. If he hadn't you would have gotten pregnant and lost the baby. He's drinking excessively to punish himself for rejecting you and hurting your feeling. Then the cutting is because he still wants to sleep with you even now."

Clara sighed, "Why is he refusing?"

Sally replied, "He's afraid he'll get you pregnant again. No let me finish. He's a afraid that he'll kill you if he does.....He had a 16 year old sister that died during child birth covered in her own blood. When he saw you....like that he remembered that happening with his sister when he was 5 years old....It triggered the memory and he loves you so much he's afraid of inadvertently causing your death."

Clara asked, "That's...not likely to happen."

Sally replied, "Yeah. He's a stubborn old man. Maybe you should talk to him."

Clara asked, "Does he know you are telling me all of this?"

Sally replied, "Yeah. He made sure I knew that he knew I was going to tell you."

Clara sighed, "Thank you. I'll see if I can beat some sense into him."

Sally replied, "Maybe you should....beat him. He admitted he liked you slapping him. He desires to be punished. Maybe if you do it he'll be able to be with you again....It's just a thought....Sometimes it works for self harmers."

Clara looked at her and nodded. She found Peter on the balcony drinking and smoking. She thought it was unusual to see him with just a dress shirt, unbuttoned waistcoat, and dress pants. She sat next to him and said, " Let me see your left arm, Peter. Ah ah now!"

Peter tried to refuse but knew it was pointless with Clara. He unbuttoned the cuffs and rolled up his sleeve. The bandages were in need of changing but e just let Clara remove them to look at his cuts.

Clara saw 6 deep cuts along his forearm and asked, "How long? Peter, How long?"

Peter hesitantly replied, "I started when I was 20 years old."

Clara gasped, "When Dunkin died?"

Peter replied, "Aye. Blamed myself for 20 years. Then I stopped. Didnae cut myself again until 2 months ago."

Clara sighed, "The miscarriage."

Peter Whispered, "Aye"

Clara asked, "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Peter whispered, "I still want ta be intimate with ye and I hate myself for it so I punish myself by cutting ta ease the guilt."

Clara knelt in front of him and held both of his hands. She said, "There is NOTHING to be guilty about. I want to be intimate with you too."

Peter scoffed, "Ppppffftt. If I hadnae slept with ye and gave in ta my bloody desires then ye wouldnae been carrying my bairn ta even lose it. I broke my own moral rules and ye paid the price, Clara. It is MY fault. I need ta be punished for it. Even if I have ta do it myself!" He noticed Clara flinch at his anger and felt guilty about that too.

Clara was starting to realized he was angry and it was all directed at himself for sleeping with her. She asked, "How about this. Will you come back to my bed, stop drinking excessively, and cutting yourself if I punish you instead?"

Peter asked, "Why?"

Clara yelled, "Because I love you and I want my lover back. If...it takes me beating you with a bloody whip to get you to make love to me again then I bloody well will do it! If you want to be punished because you want to sleep with me then I may as well be the one to punish you because I want you just as badly. Stop punishing ME for something you believe is YOUR fault! Let me choose the punishment you get. Please....?"

Peter swallowed thickly and asked, "Ye will punish me if I stop punishing myself and.....go back ta the way we were before we lost the bairn? What happens if I get ye with child again?"

Clara replied, "Then we will have a child....If you require to be punished for it I.....will do it. I want a family with you and if I have ta punish you every step of the way just to get our love life back to normal then..I'll have to do it."

Peter asked, "Ye will be my Mistress? Ye will give me whatever punish I feel I deserve? Even if I want ye to beat me with a whip or paddle? Tying me up? Denying me ta orgasm? Or slapping my face repeatedly?"

Clara swallowed and replied, "If I have to...then yes."

Peter sighed, "I....will try. I never was able ta say no to ye when ye are bossy. I can't promise I won't cut myself though. We'll see if your punishment is strong enough to overcome my desire ta cut myself."

Clara replied, "But you will share my bed again like a PROPER lover and stop drinking so much? Go back to what you drank before...2 months ago?"

Peter whispered, "Aye, eudail. I am yers. Always have been. Yers ta punish or reward...and own."

Clara asked, "Is there anything I can do right now?"

Peter replied, "Aye. Whatever ye wish." Before he knew it he had a hard slap across the face, then another, and another until he finally grabbed her hand after the 10th slap. His face stung like hell but he felt better because SHE was punishing him.

Clara waited until he released her hand and then moved into his lap and their teeth clacked together as they were feverishly kissing. She felt his hands on her rump holding her in his lap. Her hands were in his hair pulling and tugging at his wild curls. God she never realized how wet doing that could get her. She wanted to screw him on the balcony over just slapping the shit out of him.

Peter was hard as a rock and he could feel how wet Clara was through his pants. When they came up for air he gasped, "Ye are enjoying beating me. Good. This may just work. My Mistress. Maybe we are both fucked up, lassie. I donae care."

Clara growled, "Shut up. Bedroom. NOW!" She got off his lap and tugged him off the chair sending them back into the railing when he didn't catch his balance soon enough. The eventually stumbled into the bedroom ripping each other's clothes off. She threw him down on the bed and mounted him. This was just going to be angry fucking because she had waited so long. She rode him and pinched and bit his nipples and shoulders leaving teeth marks. When she came she blacked out.

Peter found he really loved this wild controlling side of Clara. She was marking him and giving him pain. He could tell she was enjoying it as well because she never passed out from an orgasm until now. He waited for her to wake up and then wiggled under her and she started moving again . He finally flipped her over and it only took 4 fast thrusts and he came deep inside of her an collapsed on her chest. Eventually when he slipped out he rolled onto his side of the bed. He was panting and she started nipping and biting his soft protruding belly. He tangled his fingers in her hair and growled.

Clara nipped again enough to leave teeth marks on his belly and said, "Hmm You like to be bitten, slapped, beat, and whipped. Do you like being collared?"

Peter moaned, "Only by ye, eudail. Ye can do anything ye want ta me. Even choke me and I wouldn't care."

Clara continued to nip at his belly for a while before crawling back up to rest her head on his shoulder. She felt his arm go around her shoulders and his fingers drawing shaky patterns on her arm near her shoulder. She finally said, "I think we need a safe word so I know when to stop because you may not always be able to grab me."

Peter whispered, "Dunkin."

Clara asked, "Because of your boyfriend?"

Peter replied, "Aye. My..... self punishment started with him dying so I may as well use it to end my punishment now."

Clara replied, "All right. Dunkin it is then. I love you."

Peter replied, "I know ye do. I love ye too. Even if I'm not any good at showing it."

Clara asked, "Do you....feel? any better?"

Peter replied, "If ye mean do I feel like cutting myself for sleeping with ye......I donnae want ta right now. Guilt will set in later.....after I get past the afterglow....Ye may have ta deal with it later on. I think right now I just wanna sleep."

Clara replied, "All right. You need to sleep. If you need me to....hit you or something later just let me know."

Peter chuckled, "Ye are enjoying beating the shite out o' me aren't ye?"

Clara blushed and replied, "Just a bit."

Peter replied, "A bit? Ye were soaking wet without me even doing anything! It's all right. I was hard as a rock myself. I'm actually glad ye like it. Makes me less self conscious about telling ye what I need ye ta do ta me."

Clara replied, "One big rule. I will not do anything without your consent. With the exception of the occasional slap across the face because you actually deserve it."

Peter replied, "Fair enough."

Clara leaned up and kissed his overly warm cheek before settling down to go to sleep. She felt Peter's breathing even out as he finally fell asleep. She closed her eyes and joined him happy to have her lover back.


	15. Nothing's Ever Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing ever goes as planned...

Clara noticed that Peter was still depressed and melancholy but he wasn't pushing her away like before. She found him out on the balcony with a cigarette and what she assumes was Irish coffee. She said, "I'm going to work now. You going to be all right?"

Peter sighed, "Aye. I gave ye my word. I donae go back on my word, eudail." He had agreed to ease up on the drinking and he would. He felt her ruffle his all ready messed up hair before he heard her leave.

Clara said, "I love you, Peter."

Peter replied, "I...know ye do, Clara. I love ye too even if I'm bloody awful at showing it." He finished his cigarette and went back inside to get dressed. When he came out of the bedroom Sally was there making breakfast. He sat and ate like a good boy knowing if he didn't Clara would be upset with him. He then decided to go to what Clara had made into an office for him and set up his typewriter to start writing a novel. After about 3 hours he had the first chapter done but his eyes were throbbing so he had to quite. He went out, had lunch and got a tumbler of scotch before sitting on the balcony smoking. He heard the sliding door open and sighed, "Hello, Sally."

Sally came out and replied, "Hi, Rev. Are you felling any better today?"

Peter replied, "Aye. A bit. I'm just tired and feeling a bit ill today." He took a sip of the scotch before taking his glasses of and dropping them next to the tumbler on the patio table. He heard Sally go back inside knowing she had just wanted to make sure he was all right before continuing her work. He was depressed, exhausted and old. He also didn't feel very well today. He knew Clara deserved better than a messed up middle aged alcoholic for her partner but she chose him for some ungodly reason. He finished his cigarette and closed his eyes very glad for the canopy above him as he nodded off.

Sally had checked on Peter by glancing out the door but after 2 hours of no movement she went out again to find him fast asleep in the lounge chair he always sat on. She gently lowered the head a little and let him sleep. She knew he had to be tired if he had fallen asleep with her there. He always looked tired but had never fallen asleep before during the day. She had noticed he looked paler and is quieter than usual. She was really quite fond of Peter and liked taking care of him while Clara was at work. If she could have chosen a man for her father she may have picked him. He was kind, caring, nonjudgmental, and loveable. She smiled and went back to work hoping he would feel better when he woke up.

When Clara got home that night she was surprised when Sally told her Peter had actually slept most of the afternoon on the balcony lounge chair. That worried her because he was usually always awake during the day unless he passed out from drinking. She went out and gently shook his shoulder. She asked, "Peter? Are you feeling all right? Sally said you were tired and feeling ill earlier."

When Peter woke up he was surprised to see Clara looking down at him. He rasped, "Wut ye doing here, eudail?" Then he noticed it was getting dark and groaned. He realized he slept through the afternoon and now it was evening and Clara was home. He rasped, "Sorry. I didnae realize it was so late." He took a sip from the glass of whiskey on the table to help his dry throat.

Clara knelt next to the lounger and replied, "I don't care about you sleeping. I'm just worried that you might be getting sick. You don't tend to sleep during the day."

Peter cleared his throat and replied, 'I'm all right. I think I was just over tired. I feel better now." A few days later he felt woozy and passed out. hmmm...Not fine then.

Sally had seen Peter walking to the balcony and then heard a loud crash and thud. When she ran into the living room Peter was out cold on the carpet with a gash on his forehead from the table he broke on his way to the ground. What had really scared her was when he started convulsing. She called an ambulance and then Clara to tell her what happened. She was waiting at the hospital when Clara finally got there.

Clara ran up to the nurse and sad, "I'm looking for Peter Mclltchie. He was brought in about an hour ago. I'm his fiancé." She was directed with Sally to Peter's room and noticed he was still unconscious. She took hold of his hand and sat with him while Sally went to get them coffee. 

Peter opened his eyes and rasped, "Where am I?"

Clara replied, "You're in the hospital. You passed out and then started convulsion so Sally called 911."

Peter rasped, "Oh. Sorry."

Dr. Jensen asked, "Are you Mr. Mclltchie's wife?"

Clara replied, "I'm his fiancé. Clara Oswald."

Dr. Jensen replied, "Do you know he's an illegal alien?"

Clara replied, "He just got the paperwork for his green card filed about a month ago. Until then here's his visa and passport that I have arranged to prove he isn't. I usually carry it with me because we are usually together when we leave the house and he's good at losing things."

Dr. Jensen replied, "All right Miss Oswald. Do you mind leaving so I can talk to him?"

Peter sighed, "Clara takes care o' me as well. Ye can tell her whatever ye need ta tell me because I won' remember it. I 'ave a bad memory anymore."

Dr. Jensen replied, "Very well. You might want to set up a power of attorney to her then so it's in your records that she can speak on your behalf. You have what is called Low-grade glioma. It is a very rare brain tumor and based on where it located in your brain was the cause of the seizure you came here for. It is usually benign and can be removed but is likely to reoccur. You will also need to have at the very least radiation treatment to make sure we got it all."

Peter sighed, "I have cancer then?"

Dr. Jensen replied, "Technically you could say that but this is usually a very treatable type of cancer because it doesn't usually spread but it later shows up again. Technically the type of cancer is malignant but the tumors themselves are usually benign and can be removed. The sooner the better it is to get the tumor removed. The only difficulty that I see is in where it is located. I'm thinking you may have had this tumor a while because it is in the part of your brain that controls short term memory. It also is partly in the part that controls speech. We shouldn't have a problem but if it is then it could leave you with permanent short term memory loss and problems speaking and at worst you may not remember how to or be able to speak. We could teach you sign language in that case but it may not stick."

Peter sighed, "Oh I see. What happens if I donnae have the surgery?" He really didn't want to have to write things or play bloody charades to tell someone something. Here he had thought he'd wind up with liver or lung cancer. 

Dr. Jensen replied, "Eventually the tumor will kill you once it grows big enough. It's just a matter of how long it takes. Also the seizures will continue and get worse until you die or have it removed."

Peter sighed, "Wonderful. So I have the choice o' death or being a bloody mute with no ability ta remember anything." He then went into a string of Gaelic swearing. 

Clara sighed, "You are not going to give up on me, Peter."

Peter sighed, "All right. Fine. Ye can be the one ta play bloody charades with me then when I want something."

Clara took both his hands and replied, "I'd learn how to understand wails if I had too in order for us to be together as long as possible."

Peter took off his glasses, scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned. They scheduled the surgery for a week later and he knew Clara had made sure he had the best surgeon money could buy to minimize the chances of side effects. When he went in he was terrified and when he came out he couldn't remember what happened. He was relieved he remembered the woman sitting next to him was Clara. He croaked, "Clara...I donnae remember what happened."

Clara replied, "You had a brain tumor. It was successfully removed with minimal damage. Your short term memory may be still bad but it seems you still remember how to speak."

Peter croaked, "I guess that's good." A couple weeks later he was allowed to go home as long as he came for his checkups. He knew Clara would make sure he showed up. He was relieved to have his routine back again. It was a big enough change leaving Glasgow but he really hated hospitals. He was out on the balcony smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of scotch when Sally found him.

Sally asked, "How are you feeling, Rev?"

Peter replied, "Fine, Lassie. My head feels a bit strange with no hair but it'll grow back eventually."

Sally replied, "I wat to tell you something. I'm very fond of you. You are like the father I wish I had. My dad is a bastard. So in my own way I love you too. I just wanted you to know you have at least 2 people that love you."

Peter replied, "I donnae even know what ta say ta that. Thank ye for giving a shite. I'm sorry yer da is the way he is."

Sally asked, "Um...I was wondering...If I need fatherly advice sometime...can I come to you?"

Peter replied, "I'm a bad example for a da but.....Aye ye may come ta me if ye really need advice." He was surprised when she came over to his lounge chair and wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug.

Sally replied, "Thank you."

Peter replied, "Yer welcome, lassie." That night in bed with Clara he said, "I'm no' sure but I think I gained a daughter."

Clara asked, "Oh? Who?"

Peter replied, "Sally. She wanted someone to ask advise from like she would a da. I...agreed. She told me....she loves me."

Clara kissed his cheek and replied, "Good. She needs someone that won't judge her or put her down all the time. Her father is an asshole. I knew she loved you. She looks up to you because you treat her like a daughter all ready even if you haven't realized it. She needs a father that gives a shit about her and it may as well be you. You have a heart of gold under the crabby old alcoholic persona you have. I'm well aware of how much you loved Paddy like a daughter. She told me how you stood up and told off anyone that treated her wrongly."

Peter sighed, "When she started working at the Daily News she was 16 and the men treated her like a piece o' meat ta be skewered. O' course I tried ta protect her. I never had expected her ta get attached ta me like she did and become my best friend. She....treated me kindly even though I was a bloody drunk. Aye. I loved her like a daughter and when she told me what happened with her family...I knew she needed someone who she could trust more than anything so I became that person for her. If I had children I would hope they'd have her kindness and determination. I....do sometimes wonder how she's doing."

Clara replied, "Well..You could call her you know."

Peter sighed, "Aye...Maybe I should one o' these days. I want ta make sure she's ok." He eventually nodded off to sleep to tired to bother thinking anymore.

Clara kissed his cheek before she settled down herself to go to sleep as well.


End file.
